Some interesting things happened today. Being at the play yard today a boy was slapping Zina with a stick she wanted to go on the swing and he didn’t allowed her. The boy was about 5 years old not that much older than her, she came running to me crying telling me what happened, so I asked her what did you do and what did you say? Did you say: “No stop?” She ran back at the boy and said: “No stop!”
I walked towards them to observe the situation there were 3 boys standing by the two swings, all the same age.
This was an interesting moment when the kids saw me walking towards them I already ‘saw’ the dimensional shift I observed that they were fearing me I’m presenting the adult thus the authority within their reality.
So when standing there now the boys were all blaming each other for what happened, one said “I didn’t do anything, he did it!”
Then the boy who slapped Zina said “I didn’t slap her”
The third boy said :“Its my turn now to go on the swing”
So this is what I observed in Zina as well that she’s blaming Lou when I ask her when I see for example a broken toy. When I ask her who did it she is blaming her little sister, and makes up all kind of stories. We had a ‘talk’ about it and I said to her Ok I’m not interested in who did it but I’m seeing that you’re blaming your sister for something she didn’t do! Which is unacceptable! She got it.
And I got it as well me as the point of transferring this construct onto her I had to undo it by looking into how I created this. Parents create this through fear by the tonality of ones voice, kids observe the whole of you and the slightest irritation or annoyance about something they see and will respond to it.
Next time within me changing my language the way I ask her what I observe and her seeing that it is unacceptable to blame her baby sister thus hiding herself within tricks and manners.
I changed the communication with her I rephrased the question I just describe what I observe: “Hey this toy is broken” and within this I noticed that she’s actually just saying Yes I did that and then she will share the story how this came about and so.”Ok then we have to fix it. ” Done, clear
Back to the kids at the play yard. So I was standing there and not referring to anything but they were already playing the whole game of accusing each other, not admitting and justifying why it happened.
I asked they boy why he was slapping her with a stick and he said well she wanted to throw me of the swing I said to him ok there is never a reason to slap someone with a stick never! You just say No, but you don’t slap some one else. He saw it.
So we were standing there with all the kids, I went away Zina stayed at the swing standing in line to wait for her turn. They didn’t allow her on it so changed her plans and started doing other things, after a while she returned to the swings she really wanted to get on. So I went to her and we asked if we could get on the swing, no we couldn’t because of all kind of reasons, this and that. And I started to notice anxiety within me, information running through my body
Stop – I saw within me- I am in this world this is my reality who am I within it? What are you gonna do within it?
I felt anxiety because of the behavior of the boys and the way I was experiencing myself. I went to the swing and said ok guys “Stop”, these two girls want to use the swing now whenever they are finished you can return they have been waiting already for a long time.
Now they started protesting, “No we can’t do that because after my turn its my friend turn and so on, and I just said No this is not debatble they are going to use the swing now and whenever we’re finished and we wont be on the swing the whole afternoon, you guys can return.
They all agreed “ok” the girls went on the swing the boys were playing while waiting and in the meanwhile showing me all kind of little animals they’ve found around the play yard. When the girls were finished the boys returned to the swing and that was that.
Seemingly unimportant but to me it was a very significant event and a very revealing event that took place. As I’m working on moving myself within this world it’s relevant that this took place so to speak. Normally I would have walked away from events like this because I actually didn’t know how to ‘handle’ it. Now I just spoke common sense with the kids and interacting with kids I have found its cool to communicate within and as common sense because they see it immediately in the moment.
I saw that the boy who was holding and slapping with the stick was actually surprised that I spoke to him this way and he returned to us, curious to check ‘it’ out. The other boy went to Zina to ask for her name and had a chat with the tree of us. Children ‘see’ but they’re already from birth on their way to become ingrained within the ways of this world, which is really shocking to observe when having a one on one interaction with children from this age.