2009 Dream and Assistance

A dream I had about the girls and me some days back.

I was sitting with the girls somewhere and we’re having lunch or so their were two older men in the background making comments and being slightly irritated by us.

As I was walking down the street the other day it just came to me that the two men are representing the mind and its constant chatter within ‘me’ and I referred to it as the two older men on the balcony on the Muppet show.

It also shows to me that I‘m less afraid of the mind as I was before

I was ‘hysterical’ about all my feelings, emotions, and thoughts as the were army troopers attacking me and the same I experienced with who I am as a dimensional being.

Both petrified me, mind and dimensions alike.

I realize that’s not so prominent within me anymore and I only can say “crazy” that I experienced myself like that and I’d was not even aware of it.

I perceived myself as cool and so on but in fact I was and lived that what I described above.

So the fear of what I could be is gone not on all levels of suppression the layers I didn’t self-realized yet but the hysterical reaction towards how I exist in general is gone.

My tree of life already pointed this out to me, but I see it now in its totality and I realize the army troopers is actually me, that took me some time-lol I realize that I hated, really hated women because of this behaviour and all my friends were men or gay. I didn’t fully self realize that this exact same construct was behind it all.

I see now that when I’m directing myself in common sense while among others my legs start to hurt I mean really hurting cant barely stand on my feet and the whole base design construct lower back which is my pelvic point makes a ‘movement’ down into my legs – ok grounding.

I almost see it moving and it hurts like hell.

When looking again towards the R event I see that he has clarity about it but this clarity becomes confusion and anger and within this he’s creating all kinds of events that caused friction with M who was already building up his own bs and within this I see the words of Mykey and how we create and how we exist and remain as it is. Which is unacceptable.

I also had a realisation about me standing and being alone which doesn’t cause that much fear anymore, it also doesn’t mean that I’m done or defined by it. It simple shows me that I’m moving myself effectively in this point towards being this in fact but still have many bs to short out and to walk through as it is already done.

Still much anxiety when directing myself toward/among others but is becomes less and more directable within the moment. I direct in the moment because when it clear its clear and when clarity is here I act within it as common sense. I also realize that when I do move like this there are no ‘mistakes’ I stand and everything becomes very simple because that’s the only way to move in common sense. I realize that there is only ONE way to move and that’s within self honesty as common sense all idea’s or perceptions are BS. There is only one way to become one as ALL.

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