2009 Motherhood within a cross racial relationship


Motherhood within a cross racial relationship


Another point I observe within the language barrier, the cultural difference is the mother construct placement being raised as a Dutch person with a white Dutch background I consider myself from this culture and this culture is very deeply ingrained within me I can’t even see it because I am it I live it in fact.

Now being a mother and being in a cross racial relationship I realize a HUGE point opening up here

The definitions of motherhood within different cultures

My mother in law is Moroccan and we clash in everything I am considering motherhood to be the opposite of what she’s living out herself.

She has 4 children in different ages so she had some experience herself

What do I observe what is so different?

I’m a bit reluctant to make statements her and jump into conclusion and generalization but I realize that all individuals are an outflow of race, culture

The most prominent point I observed is

The child is not being raised but being facilitated. As the western way is very much to educate your child to teach the child how to behavior and get it into a set of rules acceptable within the parents culture and background

What I see within my in laws and very prominent within their culture  that they don’t direct children in any way whatsoever, the child is seen as sacred and is the point of all attentions there are no restrictions in any way, the child decides what to eat when to sleep, slapping parents, slapping each other all allowed as that’s the nature of the child leave the child alone and not being directed

Opportunity for real change for children in the new age

Now what is fascinating is that for instance my children being form a cross racial background could become ‘lost’ in this world not really rooted within a very articulate cultural background I see this as an opportunity to change as a little seed which is planted now we can bring equality and oneness in a practical application because we’re ‘free’ from the boundaries set upon us through culture and race because are not defined through it and know we can look into the world as we always look at the world which is already established the majority and we want to compete and deal with what already has established.

The desire to be part of the establishment and within this ‘outgrow’ or ‘overcome’ your racial, cross racial background.

Cross-racial marriages and depending on their children

When being a child of a emigrant you will experience that your parents will ‘use’ you when they grow older as an extension of themselves to stay connected to their reality this world as they grow older and within the outflow of their limitation basically language based they will lean more and more on their children to translate the world to them

This causes friction within the cross racial marriage one of the partners not used to dealing with over protectiveness towards parents when they grow older

Of course this only an very pronounced construct prominent within All parents to ‘lean’ on their children when they grow of age not being able to move as when they were younger.

The placement of the two names

Many cross-racial children have two names, one birth name and one name they take on when they walk into the system starting with the educational system. Most of the times the birth name doesn’t suites the environment is to difficult to pronounce this is the first deliberate act of abdicating to the ways of majority of this world. Changing names to fit in.


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