LouLou is seeking for comfort and runs off to Zina when I don’t comfort her. Same as what I was always doing, I ran off to my older sister seeking for comfort. She has been pointing this out to me very clearly some years ago after I had a miscarriage and expected comfort from her. I couldn’t believe thats she pointed this out to me. I was so angry with her because I wanted her to comfort me, to be all what I wanted her to be for me an extension of my ‘mother’.
Please forgive me for my ignorance. I forgive myself that I’ve been accepting and allowing myself to seek comfort through the company of my sister by projecting all my perceived motherly missed attention onto her.
This has been the underlying reason the real starting point for not having contact with her for a while, some time ago. The oldest child is placed as an extension of the mother/father within the family matrix design.Hence my creation of projecting my wants needs of being in need of motherly comfort onto her. I see this very clearly now.
Its time to study what family and siblings actually are standing for to be able to realign the family unit with what is best for All.