2010 The Seed

As a seed I came to be
I cried myself to sleep
to not see the monsters that fed of me
I screamed until I dreamed
and every morning I wake up
I remind myself of my birth in this picture world

a being becoming
crawling and walking then running and talking
taking bumps and skratches,
leaving scars in flesh and bone
until the body decays and I am gone

from breath to death I sank deeper and deeper
into the world of light
swirling and shifting, shaking and breaking
making me sick,
I forgot how to cry
and how to let go of myself
struck by rays that penetrate me
even closing my eyes won’t stop the pain inside
spread out like drops of rain
that exist in a fall
I see walls of shadow that draw lines of light
the light that is always too slow
and cannot reach into the black hole of the eye
so I fly as an arrow of sound through walls mind
that break and shatter and here I remain

I return where I began
like a seed on the wings of the wind
planted by the hands of time
pushing towards the sun, the warmth, the rays,
the place between heaven and earth
pressing my legs in the ground
giving it all I can
and then I see I am,
stuck like jam

I see I’m not me
I am still and I am silent
I see I’m not the seed
I see I am not
I see that I am what presses the matter as me
unfolding the seed that was given to see
I am what presses the matter, the seed as me
extending the bean
with strings of me

a being becoming
what I see is not me
what I see is still
what I see is not moving
what I see was already here
What I see is not me
what I see is seen before seeing
I see I’m not me
I see that I’m not
I see that I am
I am here

As a seed I came to be
I cried myself to sleep
to not see the monsters that fed of me
I screamed until I dreamed
and every morning I wake up
I remind myself of my birth in this picture world

Marlen & Jorn
http://www.desteni.co.za