2010 Grateful for an experience

interesting what I am currently walking is to walk into the ‘unknown’

I just realised that I actually never have been living a decision before – and that I always made a decision within my mind but never into its completion as a physical action. Fascinating that I -immediately fell back into the old ways=relationship connection – when I was drifting of b/c  that’s what I am automated to be.

So scripting and preparing the way before me without judging the experience that I needed to live to see who I am within it. Its just a matter of discipline

gratefulness is stepping forth for real!

2010 Floating Around

08/07/10

Ok what comes up while walking the divorce and the legal requirements& being confronted with laws- the written words.

I feel like I’m floating – so in essence my platform of support is dissipating and I get a resonant feeling of if I can call it like that off – floating around with no direction no foundation to stand on.

Secondly it or I sense it as anxiety & overall nervousness while I am still here – lol

But/yet this is how I experience, see it& I see how exactly this experience can prevent one from moving& directing oneself. To be ‘fucked’ with the and as the system when one allows one to freeze within the seemingly overwhelming feeling of the ‘realness’ of the experience.

Breath through it, stay grounded in and as the breath as pillar of self support & push through it. Don’t allow yourself to make it into an experience of self that belief one to be real.

Its almost as something that is resonating as something that must be act on and played out. I walk as breath I slow down, I breathe through it.

One step at the time