2010 Patience

To remind myself:

“you and patience still require entering a symbiotic relationship, rather than a fighting resistance”

“We just got to still work on physically slowing down and… Patience, Breath- Silence walking the moment as the Physical”


2010 storing bs about s**ual experiences


I realised the enslavement point of storing sexual experiences with a certain person in the past in my memory bank as the ultimate sexual experience. b/c when having sex with another I already saw that this was not so in fact and that I never actually researched this point and further more WTF why?

Why place an experience from the past as the ultimate one? What the fuck is that actually saying? LOL such stupidity

Such limitation

Such lie


Exhausting stupidity, striving for non sense without actually researching this into the nitty gritty of it, sigh –ok lol

Glad that I can let that go – lol

And that’s actually what sex became within me within many striving for that ultimate experience and it will never satisfy anyone. Its the ultimate trap where one cant get no satisfaction ever b/c it hasn’t been designed to let sexual experiences satisfy one in any way it has been designed to mutilate.

so cool – getting real within and as sexual expression