2011 ‘One’s Type’

He isn’t my type 

Interestingly enough I always ‘ended up’ in a relationship with someone that wasn’t really my type.

The above:

Implies desire

Implies that the person I’m in a relationship with isn’t ‘good’ enough for me, that there is someone ‘better’ out there.

Implies that there is someone out there who is my type with characteristics that I find suitable for me, that fulfil the projections of a ‘my type’ person.

So to live the belief that I ended up with someone that wasn’t really my type keeps the desire alive. It’s the feeding ground for a back door, its indicative for where one is standing: – within hope, and desire for someone out there, a yearning that contains a promise that one day this expectancy will be fulfilled.

Quite a fuck up.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that my type exist

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live the belief that I always end up with someone that isn’t really my type

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live and hold the construct that there is someone better out there for me to find then the one I am currently in a relationship with.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to leave a backdoor open so I am able to project my desires of finding ‘my type’ while being in a relationship.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live the construct: that the one I’m in a relationship with is not my type and thus leave a backdoor open to project my desires outside of myself of eventually finding ‘my type’.

Living and existing within a polarity-construct of my type/not my type isn’t serving me, living through such construct and measuring/comparing my current relationship to this polarity construct is irrational and therefore I let it go.

I understand and see that there doesn’t exist such a person as I have constructed it as in my type of a person and the opposite thereof.

Irrational within this is that I actually never met a ‘my type’ of person and yet I am striving to find such person. So how I base my assumptions, perceptions and ideas of the right kind/my kind of person on a illusion is completely irrational and it doesn’t makes any sense.

It’s the embodiment of stupidity – lol

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