I Perceive and experience Sweetness as the point of self nurturing through a construct within the structure. I ‘lose’ myself within this specific experience as perceived sweetness.
This point is automated as me I did not yet walked this point into clarity it has multiple dimensions/layers to it.
When shopping yesterday I observed how I was automatically drifting off through projecting automated wants/needs/desires for a relationship. This is part of desiring a relationship being automated and addicted to participate within these projections, pertaining wants, needs, fantasies, projections and what not.
How is it being ignited? Among things Through walking in my world/reality automatically locking into pictures, graphics, symbols and from there automatically spiral into a mind construct of desire or more accurately a possession of mind.
So I actually start becoming aware of how I now utilise pictures, graphics, symbols to ignite wants and needs and so on to generate energy – something to participate within. It could actually have been anything. Yet at this stage most prominently is desire.
I ‘enjoy’ experiencing myself as such, I am addicted to this perceived experience of myself. I have given it high value and importance to experience myself within this perceived experience of self. I’m addicted to it a junk, actually nothing beats this experience- not sex; masturbation nor drugs. It’s within this allowance and drifting off to projections of me ‘there’, because it pertains hope and a future that will never be lived.
The whole construct and me participation within it is irrational and I use reason, logic to justify my participation and thus not acceptable. I can’t accept not to trust myself within this point. I didn’t yet opened this point up and I will through writing and walking it, to get to the nitty- gritty of it, all cards on the table.
Getting to know me, before I am off to ‘someone’ out ‘there’ again to distract myself from what is real.
I don’t give a fuck about another person within the above construct because I want what I want and the person is only placed within this position to keep the construct in place. Even when one is in a relationship one is exercising within it- someone out ‘there’ to dream about, to linger for to drift off to projections and shit like that.
So its not even to be off to someone again – the other doesn’t even exist that person only exist within my head. Actually only within a closed boxed where I then locked into, all of me contained within a box of projections,fantasies, ideas and so on.
The thing is I didn’t yet consider nor saw all implications of my individual participation and how this is the fore stage/fore play of ending up married with children, and isn’t this exactly what we are all from a very early age desire? To end up with someone either looking for an ultimate sexual experience or what ever we make up within our irrational reasoning to chase who ever we want what ever we want whenever we want no matter the consequences of our actions.
Dangerous shit when you don’t know where you are dealing with and not know who you are within it what you do, and really completely unnecessary!
This is how we bring children into being.
This starting point is fucked up and we must change and de-engineer ourselves, no parent wants to bring this about yet we’re all living it into being by simple participating within the ‘smallest’ point of desiring to be with someone.
Desire should be on the list of mental disorders – those who ‘suffer’ from such mental disorder cant be trusted with Life.
I can tell cause I have been such person myself the thing is that whether the world is burning or not you actually don’t give a fuck because you are trapped within the Era of Eros and grateful for what actually? That you found what actually? That you are married with children and now what? That you have sex on a regular basis, that you have a steady relationship? I mean WTF, how many people ‘cheat’ on their partner? how many people leave their partner to get something ‘better’ in return. I mean that in itself should already show how fucked up this chase for such perceived experience is. To desire such a thing because in actuality it doesn’t exist it only exist within ones head and the rawness of the physical reality will never meet that whats inside your head and you will freaking fucking never be satisfied because within the Eara of Eros such a point doesn’t exist within the physical reality.Thats the factuality of it.
Time to get Real:
Show the way to be the way and live the way into being for the children and the children yet to come