I had to call the infant welfare centre for the exact details about the vaccination Zina got when she was a bit younger, I needed to double-check it to exclude a certain illness before I consulted a doctor.
I dialed the number and now I entered the telephone operation, which is completely automated you can only choose out of the given possibilities, press 1 or press 2 and so on.
I wasn’t really paying attention I missed my “press moment” so the whole sequence started again from the beginning.
Finally I got the procedure ‘right’ meaning I now successfully followed the pattern of the program yet this took me probably more than 15 min. before I actually got to speak with a person. Sigh.
Now another procedure started yet with a human being, and again I wasn’t really paying attention, not here in the moment breathing I allowed myself to drift off in an habitual response, the automated me.
I used to really despise this automated telephone operation systems to exist within the first place. I always struggled/fought with this kind of automated systems. This I expressed in being extremely uncooperative when it came down to these kind of phone calls as little small acts of ‘rebellion’ towards the system yet it isn’t rebellion in fact. It actually expresses complete lack of understanding of the system and how its operates. I Constricted myself within an idea of a small act of ‘rebellion’ against it when in fact I was operating within the system perfectly! I wasn’t even aware that I was ‘rebelling’ against my own image and likeness.
This brings me to the following question: Where do you ‘rebel’ against?