So where am I at? And what is Here for me to walk?
Finding myself again Standing face to face with the manifested consequences= Money=Self. Standing in front of this part of me where coping mechanisms patterns starts emerging; which is here once again for me to see and realize a window of opportunity to unravel the totality of the whole pattern. So I can sort it out to not allow myself to walk into unnecessary time loops/experiences again.
Patterns as reactions towards this point:
Sadness as in: “Oh freaking shit no, I can’t handle it” yet suppressed as resonance ‘experience’ I have become this point in its totality. So no need for thoughts to accompany the experience, that’s how one could describe the resonances, patterns that are ‘thoughtless’ yet directive as principle.
Tiredness and sleepiness are indicative of the suppressed state of this point; I actually immediately wanted to sleep as it emerged yet instead I took a bath with the girls, which was great fun-lol.
“Oh no I cant handle this” needs more introspection, it’s a point of self defeat and sabotaging the point of standing all one which also is linked to the matrix of self nurturing that I’m still walking into awareness. I will dig deeper into this write this out into specificity in what I currently see and understand.
Running away: ‘Sneaking’ off to self -created back doors. Running away from walking/ facing the real experience of self, which is suppressed as the accepted habitual nature, tempting and automated to run away again from the real experience specifically related to this point. I see thoughts as back chat coming up yet very slight, it emerges to run off to someone, anything ‘better’ than facing this point head on.
Point of Self- intimacy, who am I as pattern?
I allow myself to remain Here, Solid within me, whole safe, Secure, Comfortable, Strong as Strength anchored in and as the physical walking every moment of and as Here as self commitment as me.
So actually cool! I can from here unravel the pattern, slow it down to root it out
Time to close Doors, simple!