Underneath anger, rage and embarrassment within me, the real experience lies dormant, which I didn’t yet allowed myself to embrace as part of me. While walking the TL of a Mind Construct a window of opportunity opens up to go to the core of the suppressed slumbering real experience of oneself that’s so tightly wrapped up as more ‘acceptable’/’suitable’ expressions such as anger and irritation.
While walking Time Lines, which is part of Mind Construct within the SRA course, one is slowing oneself down to walk through memories as the actual participant and so opening oneself up. While doing so I see an energetic ‘wall’ which is the resistance, I walk through it to be able to go to the core of the real experience of self that opens up the suppressed experience such as: Feeling less than, Feeling inferior, Feeling unequal.
Experiences such as being inferior/unequal/less than is not a good thing so I deem it as ‘bad’, and must be immediately suppressed
I start opening up more getting and becoming more comfortable with what is here as experience as me while taking this ‘in’. I experience a shock an electrical shock of waking up to the real experience of self; which is through walking the layout of the Mind Constructs within the SRA-Course showing its Real face. Simultaneously while walking through it, opening up I experience a physical relief.
I’m amazed actually in disbelief how something so simple could have lie dormant right in front of my eyes without being able to break through the boundaries of the control.
Self, in –to- me- I- see, becoming familiar with me, getting to know me! Self first!
So this is self-intimacy in actual application, allowing myself to see beyond anger, rage, irritation, to allow myself to surface the suppressed experience. To allow myself to see that I experience feelings such as: being hurt, inferior, embarrassment, feel less and so on it exist within me and its ok to see this part of me which doesn’t imply that its acceptable– lol
It’s here for realignment, a window of opportunity so I can stop the automated suppression of categorised bad experiences of myself.
When did this automated self-suppression become an habitual coping mechanism in the first place?
It’s not that bad – lol