- Sf on suppressing the real experience within: I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress the real, raw experience within in relation to m’s arrival back ‘home’
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear m’s return back ‘home’
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to run away from this fear /this person, from the real raw experience within
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to run away from what I experience within
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deny the real experience within
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress the real experience within
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to assume that I must strong and keep up face regardless of the real experience within
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I always must stand within every experience within
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I always have to be strong and up to the task
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deny emotions of being hurt within me
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress emotions of being hurt within
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deny and suppress my feelings
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress what I actually feel within
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress my emotions as they arise
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress my tears
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress my fear
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress how I experience myself in fights, arguments, backchat, cheatings, back stabbing
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress the experience of myself in order to be able to survive within the system
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must be strong
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define being strong as suppressing the real emotions of being hurt within.
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define emotions as bad
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define feelings as bad
- I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to categorise emotions and feelings as bad as a no- go area and therefore suppress them within myself.
So some side-notes about my commitment to post my writings onto my blog
Before I pushed the enter button thoughts are flashing through my mind – the girls refer to thoughts as movies within our heads- we have become possessed by the movie in our heads.
Thoughts as back-chat:
– “Its pointless”
– “I’m being dramatically within my writings”
– “I’m pedant within my writings”
So actually activities/characteristic I categorized as ‘bad’ and that’s why I don’t want to be seen as such. It holds judgment and fear
– “Its pointless”
Inherent belief that one can’t ‘fight’ the Giant, all Ants together makes the Giant.
– “I’m being dramatically within my writings”
Ok so here I see judgment towards emotions, and judgments as fear towards energy.
– “I’m pedant within my writings”
subtle self manipulation where I’m then tempted to give into b/c its seemingly ok to not want to act in a certain way, there doesn’t exist such a ‘certain’ way in fact, its only one way the way thats best for all.
Explaining yourself why you shouldn’t do something through reasoning is always irrational and uses logic to make your point valid and is actually a mind possession, so you walk your day from one mind possession to the next one. Really unnecessary.
We reason our way into infinity, we have become the Posse of the Possessed ones with no other reason than to keep the cause of the reason=possession alive. Time to get back to reality!
Get to know your mind demons:
I always believed that somehow I could bypass being responsible for world events such as war, poverty, abuse, famine etc. by simple giving my attention to something else. During my educational years – studying fine arts and exploring the picture presentation of this world -I didn’t got to a clear comprehensive assertive understanding of this world/reality. Despise all the years I’ve spend within the educational system it didn’t allow me to develop and explore understanding of being in this world and through this express responsibility for all as a natural expression that’s intrinsic with being in this world/reality.
It has made me a ‘useful’ member yes, but not amember that takes responsibility for all Equally, – it’s also not what our educational system is aiming for. Educating is being used for god the system to continue and to secure its existence.
Fleeing and escaping into visual ‘beauty’ and ‘esthetics’ deliberately avoiding any political involvement or engagement made me actually belief that I was safe yet escaping what is Real doesn’t make the ‘boogie man’ go away. That only exist within fairy tales.
It really doesn’t make sense to perceive that what isn’t ‘in your face’ isn’t part of your responsibility, by not acknowledging our ability to response to our world we don’t even bother to ask ourselves if we hold the power within to establish change for the betterment of all. Running away from the Real Raw Physical reality has never been the solution and it will never be the solution. That’s a law within this reality, you cant jus shovel the Manifested Physical Reality underneath the carpet without unnecessary manifested consequences.
We need to be able to question ourselves from where; what; how; when and from whom we’re actually walking/running away from. This challenge will lead to ourselves again. Answering these questions and living them into alignment with what is best for all will be the foundation for the Principle of Education on how we will teach our children and the children yet to come. For them to be able to live and understand this reality so no harm will ever be done upon Life again.
If you would ask any parent in this world, and I am a parent myself – if its preferable to teach your child to walk away from the world ‘outside’ – because is too ‘hard to bare’, not ‘nice, not how you ‘prefer’ it to be, not what you ‘like’ it to be. Every parent would say NO this is NOT what you want to teach/show your child yet we’re all Demonstrating exactly this construct. Running away from the manifested consequences ‘Out there’! We walk away from what we perceive as ‘Out There’ while in essence what we see as ‘impossible’ to deal with is exactly what we live as ourselves, running away from ourselves until infinity, not facing what we have manifested within our World/ Reality.
How much more suffering do we need to create into manifestation before we had enough? Do we really need to go as far until every single child is killed, raped, molested, mind controlled, when all colored people, women, the disabled, the poor and the list goes on and on until eventually every minority= threat in name of the system to survive will be destroyed. There is no Mercy within the current system. We the people must bring back Compassion to and as the people to give what we want for ourselves.
There is a legal body=Democracy already in place that calls for each single one of us to utilize our individual single votes so we can walk the Power of the Majority into being, to bring about change Equally for ALL. We are the People, the world ‘Out There! We, you and me are the ones that are within the position to bring change! Use your Vote as an act of Giving!
Politics is Here – Democracy is Here You are Here – I am Here!
So what are you waiting for?
I’m one vote for world Equality! Join us! Equal Life foundation – Equal money for All – http://equalmoney.org/
In changing the money system – we change All else
Walking the decision
It has been ‘tough’ to stand within the decisions I recently made and lived, now It must be done not postponing it through making the decision into an experience of myself where I am very tempted to walk into and actually walked into already– creating an experience out of the decision that stepped forth while directing myself.
So I see where and how I participate within generating energy it can be anything and also the side effects this is creating – unacceptable and I stop
I realize that the children, my children any child for that matter is the future and that the future will unfold determined by each individual action.
In a way I ‘forgot’ or was thinking that I could bypass the children b/c I was struggling, wallowing, stabilizing, drifting of again I see that I still didn’t yet make that definite infinite stand of: Here is where I am this is what I do and agreed on living and the children are the future and for them as them I need to give up ‘me’ simple as that. And in this I will stabilize myself to life this stand, in a way I see that this is how it went and looking at the past with thoughts like:
Couldn’t I have done this earlier or sooner? or if and what not and so on isn’t serving anyone and not even relevant and actually only generating energy – it is what it is make peace with it and walk on. Prepare the way before yourself so the next time one is faced with the exact same thing – one will stand and see the deception of time and choices.
Lets get it done!
It is what it is and I am grateful that I had the opportunity to see, understand and realize and now to walk to correct. I must walk into the corrective action now to finish what I agreed on living . To direct it towards the next faze I walk into which is already here. Directing it to its completeness – from breathe to breathe until its done.
The decision is made its done now directing it to its completeness and focus on the girls b/c I realize that it has been ‘them and the fear of what I had become in the point of motherhood what I wanted to avoid and its time to face it within myself: Motherhood where all sins/programs comes together. Lets walk!
I realize that there are many layers and that after, beyond every layer is another layer of deception and that this isn’t done in a ‘moment’ yet in every moment, its done when we are all done, so it will be a life time commitment and this commitment must stand infinite as the stand I am making