2009 SF Possession

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by frustration anger and rage.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by complete fury.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to pass my rage and frustration onto the kids.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to imprint this onto their resonance.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to resonate rage, fury and possessed anger.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become sad after participating within ‘giving my light’ away.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be sad which is an outflow of my sadness.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to hold onto sadness as a self-definition point.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel sad after I’m possessed by intense rage, fury, and anger.

Droevig

Droef – ig

Sad

Das

S

A

D

Sad is bad

I’ve been bad so I feel sad

I’ve been naughty

Morality

Sad

Dad

Death

2009 Possession&Consumerism

Being Possessed:
I’m being possessed in my live quite a bit, I’m not talking about possession by demons that make you hang on the ceiling and stuff you hear about in stories about possession and in movies.

Nope

I’m talking about being possessed in and as anger, very extensive emotions, rage it’s the absolute rage where you want to destroy everything and all because really you just realize that everyone and everything has left you and that nothing can be trusted and that nothing is real.

I realize when I’m possessed I stand as and in this possession I am it there is nothing else then this possession that takes over and then there is rage, I cant even explain it very well.

The rage is here as me and I destroy when I’m possessed.

Its building up inside of me and then KABOEM I now realize that I experienced  this all my live.

It sounds stupid but I actually never looked into it or investigated this to the core.

What this experience of myself is really about?

So it was possession and I can see now that when you’re a demon you ‘crash’ the system through this rage and I can see that this was a threat for the powers that be or were.

I see the power in possession.

Why?

Can’t really pin point it yet.

Being Consumed:

Being consumed is still being aware of your deliberate act of spiting life versus possession, possession is standing in and as it without any suppression going on while consuming being consumed by yourself is actually suppressing everything of self.

When being possessed your not suppressing any thing only rage is here to express what your actually are experiencing inside.

Looking into it now I see the utter despair in it the utter helplessness the utter frustration and the only way to stand up is to become it to become that what you’re actually suppressing inside and then live it in its totality. I don’t actually have done this through long periods of time. It was always in moments it still pops up . I didn’t experience this in a loooong time it popped up as Jack in the Box, this guy is everywhere-lol

It gives me more insight in what I am in actuality and what I suppress, the multiple layers of suppression inside and how I live them as me in fact. And when the rage becomes ‘to much to handle’ boom possessed.

That’s it for now.