2012 – The Ones that went before Us

It has been hard to grasp for me when I started to walk this process of aligning myself with whats best for all, that there is actually no one to blame and that there is actually no one really other than me that has created this mess.

We, as I experienced have the tendency to blame others for our current lives and the first one’s we actually start blaming for our own misery are our parents. The ones that went before us, and from there on we blame the educational system, jobs,society, politics and so on.

I realise/see and understand that this world is within my own image and likeness and within this understanding the ones that went before me are me in fact , because that’s what I left behind. I see realise and understand that I walk into and emerge from the whole into this world as what I left behind, created already. How could I emerge into something which isn’t me? That would be strange, when being part of the whole one can not emerge into something other than oneself in fact.

So within this realisation I can’t say or claim that the ones that went before me are separated from me because they are part of me, it makes the component of blame a complete different ball game.Its like blaming your back of being part of you and only because you can’t see your back you perceive that its separated from oneself,  yet you will start feeling it when it hurts because its undeniable part of you – lol

Artwork: http://www.thanuka.com/index.php


2011 Introducing myself- my story Finding Desteni, the journey to Self

When I stumbled upon my first video at Desteni back in dec. 2007 I couldn’t have imagine that it would actually be the beginning of the end of ‘me’.

I walked the world matrix quite extensively meaning I did my education, got a professional career, got into relationship, got a child, quit my job to be a stay at home mom. The journey, which led me to this life and this version of me, is the actual process I am walking, to study and investigate my accepted and allowed reality within the Desteni ‘I’ process.

I’ve been raised as a Christian yet my parents were not strict in practising their religion. By the time I was ten or so I really saw that Nope the bible and its interpretation cannot in fact be so. From there the journey of finding ‘The Truth” of me began. The LOA has been an accepted part of my upbringing; my family were very much into self-help books and psychology. I sincerely believed that it was my actual plight to live the fullest potential of me and become the best of me within the context of what I accepted as “getting the best out of me” in this life. I was a seeker and collector of experiences I wanted to experience it all one of my mantra’s was: “I only live once so I must make the best out of it here and now” Little did I know then, that yes this is so yet what one will bring into creation all depends on ones starting-point-lol

Whether it was Yoga, mediation, psychic reading’s, drugs, alcohol, clubbing, travelling etc.. I wanted to experience it all and from a matrix perspective yes so to speak, I did it all. By the time I settled down to be a mom, I stumbled upon the living application of what’s best for all, – Destonians and Practivism.

Initially by reading and watching the material what was standing out for me were the words used and the clarity within the sentences, how the message was scripted. I never heard such clear structured yet living real langue before. Which was remarkable because we all use words, so to be able to use words in such a way that all seems ‘new’ creating a platform to look at this world/reality from a complete different perspective, was mind-blowing and a call for more!

The message of oneness and equality wasn’t hard to grasp – it resonated within me as the absolute truth, which wasn’t debatable.

I was actually seeking for the truth/life we all do other wise we would be content with our current truth which is our life, each individual life is each individual truth. So when one is seeking one is living the confirmation that one’s life is a lie, common sense.

I immediately started waking with, initially through writing because in writing one gives self the opportunity to pull all hidden information about oneself which is inside to the surface, outside. Writing is an amazing tool to self.

It wasn’t an ‘easy’ or ‘funny’ or a tralalala experience I must say it took me a while to stabilise within integrating the tools of Self-Forgiveness, Self-Honesty, 4 count Breathing, Self-Corrective Application into my day-to-day living. Through being consistent in writing and applying the tools on a day-to-day basis I created a platform from where I could walk. This obvious takes time, we’ve been creating ourselves meticulously into specificity and detailed as our accepted expression over a period of time, so walking backwards in space-time in order to walk into corrective application to bring about what’s best for all, will take time and consistent self-willed application.

The forums and the blogs by fellow Destonians have been of invaluable support, I haven’t encountered such a place before where people in self-Honesty are sharing themselves, which takes a lot of courage, discipline and will power, I know from my own experiences what it takes to walk with. My visits to the farm with and without the children have given me a glimpse of what it means/will be like to manifest Heaven on Earth. while being at the Desteni Farm one can experience for a moment to live one and equal to truly support and assist each other as a group. To give All what one wants for themselves, security, safety, comfort which is currently only established and given through money, equal money will end the atrocity so we’ll create a platform from where we will value life as it should have been from the very start.

Initially I wasn’t really walking this process for myself I ‘saw’ my children and the ones yet to come I just had to act on the information and knowledge presented to me.I had to at least give me- and thus my children-an equal opportunity to see for myself what I have become and who I am within what I do.By walking with, I got to a clear and substantial understanding that what I live one and equal as expression will be manifested and the living example for all and for my children, simple!

Being a parent opens up the window of Possibilities and Grace. While interacting with Children one is forced to practically walk instantly, immediately within the moment here – lol No room for introspection, just do it!

While participating with my children, falling and standing up again became a daily living practical action!

In fact the children and the factual relationship with them have been and still is a Real wake up call, a Reality check. Reality as physical substantial manifestation isn’t up to ideas, beliefs, conditions etc..it has completely different laws. Its Direct, Here, Immediately within every moment. It’s useless to be or want to be more than the physical it has been the downfall of man, so time to stand up and walk equality for all as the change we will bring about as the real parents of this world, lets get this done!

So give yourself a reality check and walk with,- if you have the couRage!

Thank you,

Image Frida Kahlo:Wat I saw in the Water

2011 Wanting to be more than what is Real

So I can see how I have been trying the last couple of weeks to subtle manoeuvre myself to be more than the physical reality and it started to compound anger as well – so careful here because I can see how this is creating much friction and this will then be the layout of me towards the world and everything that enters my world – not cool!

Ok so the girls have been sick for the last couple of weeks. I actually never visited in such short time either a doctor or a dentist as the last couple of weeks. So being with them 24/7 is a story in itself when they’re sick it becomes quite a story-lol

I must then stop all the things I’m participating within, and reschedule everything at once. And here it started to become a bit ‘vague’ because I was juggling between: “I can do the things I must do versus  still be there for them.”

Nope! Time has proven this over and over again: – Can’t do, won’t work!

So today I said and applied: Ok! They’re sick and that’s what is here and that’s what I’m able and must direct. Its simply needs to be done! Trying to be more than what the physical reality in the moment requires is really stupidity in action. So therefore I stop and I let it go.

Ok that’s it for today

2011 Mercy and Compassion is an act of Giving – Give your Vote to World Equality!

I always believed that somehow I could bypass being responsible for world events such as war, poverty, abuse, famine etc. by simple giving my attention to something else. During my educational years – studying fine arts and exploring the picture presentation of this world -I didn’t got to a clear comprehensive assertive understanding of this world/reality. Despise all the years I’ve spend within the educational system it didn’t allow me to develop and explore understanding of being in this world and through this express responsibility for all as a natural expression that’s intrinsic with being in this world/reality.

It has made me a ‘useful’ member yes, but not amember that takes responsibility for all Equally, – it’s also not what our educational system is aiming for. Educating is being used for god the system to continue and to secure its existence.

Fleeing and escaping into visual ‘beauty’ and ‘esthetics’ deliberately avoiding any political involvement or engagement made me actually  belief  that I was safe yet escaping what is Real doesn’t make the ‘boogie man’ go away. That only exist within fairy tales.

It really doesn’t make sense to perceive that what isn’t ‘in your face’ isn’t part of your responsibility, by not acknowledging our ability to response to our world we don’t even bother to ask ourselves if we hold the power within to establish change for the betterment of all. Running away from the Real Raw Physical reality has never been the solution and it will never be the solution. That’s a law within this reality, you cant jus shovel the Manifested Physical Reality underneath the carpet without unnecessary manifested consequences.

We need to be able to question ourselves from where; what; how; when and from whom we’re actually walking/running away from. This challenge will lead to ourselves again. Answering these questions and living them into alignment with what is best for all will be the foundation for the Principle of Education on how we will teach our children and the children yet to come. For them to be able to live and understand this reality so no harm will ever be done upon Life again.

If you would ask any parent in this world, and I am a parent myself – if its preferable to teach your child to walk away from the world ‘outside’ – because is too ‘hard to bare’, not ‘nice, not how you ‘prefer’ it to be, not what you ‘like’ it to be. Every parent would say NO this is NOT what you want to teach/show your child yet we’re all Demonstrating exactly this construct. Running away from the manifested consequences ‘Out there’! We walk away from what we perceive as ‘Out There’ while in essence what we see as ‘impossible’ to deal with is exactly what we live as ourselves, running away from ourselves until infinity, not facing what we have manifested within our World/ Reality.

How much more suffering do we need to create into manifestation before we had enough? Do we really need to go as far until every single child is killed, raped, molested, mind controlled, when all colored people, women, the disabled, the poor and the list goes on and on until eventually every minority= threat in name of the system to survive will be destroyed. There is no Mercy within the current system. We the people must bring back Compassion to and as the people to give what we want for ourselves.

There is a legal body=Democracy already in place that calls for each single one of us to utilize our individual single votes so we can walk the Power of the Majority into being, to bring about change Equally for ALL. We are the People, the world ‘Out There! We, you and me are the ones that are within the position to bring change! Use your Vote as an act of Giving!

Politics is Here – Democracy is Here You are Here – I am Here!

So what are you waiting for?

I’m one vote for world Equality! Join us! Equal Life foundation – Equal money for All – http://equalmoney.org/

In changing the money system – we change All else

2011 Head suckers

Head suckers

The girls are again infected with head louse, a reality that creates little children dependent on grown ups to get the blood suckers off is kind of disturbing.

So Lou became while getting the head louse off kind of hysterical I start to see what’s going on. She’s then actually totally ‘gone’ so she starts off with crying as a way to manipulate, then she starts to get into the energy of crying b/c of crying. So Zina started to laugh b/c she sees clearly what’s going on and so do I.

When I was holding her she said; -“I cant stop crying mom”, I see that ‘her ways’ always assist her to get it ‘her way’ when she’s not with us yet I have to remind her when she’s with us to remain Here and that she has to stop manipulating – so she knows and sees the difference yet sometimes it seems that she’s really getting confused about ‘there’ and Here.

What a fuck up we have created for our children and also completely unnecessary, time to change to recreate this world, – its only one letter; one breathe,- from there to Here for all to Walk in Equality.

2010 Push push push

Push push push

Ok this point needs to be pushed yet I am not getting to the point where I push it into complete awareness I am still dragging myself through the day postponing looking at it in depth.

I am very reluctant to dig into it – a wall of resistance is within me as me it keeps me in a trap not  that ‘it’ traps me I trap myself within ‘it’ yet I experience ‘it’ as a ‘It’ which does not exist b/c the resistance is ‘me’ and created by ‘me’ and maintained by ‘me’.

‘Me’ as the automated mother is the horror in action, yet today I saw actually within full blast how my mother couldn’t help herself she had to do and act out what she acted out as a mother  b/c it was automated as her it was designed as such and yeah resistance was futile.

I start to see glimpses of this automated me as a mother and hell no its not a pretty sight. That what one has become yet is not able to see b/c one is living it.

I will not allow myself to submit to this wall of resistance I experience I will walk and pull the point through into awareness into alignment.

Well, It only stops when I stop.

more on mother matrix design and its play out later

Ok that’s it for now.

2009 My experience with education as a parent

product_imageMy daughter is just attending school this is my experience thus far.
The first prominent point I see when children enter the educational system and this already start when babies and toddlers entering day care is that teachers and caretakers are responding to them through dividing all and everything into ‘good’/’bad’. Praising children, responding to their actions either with ‘nice’ or ‘bad’ or other indications within the same polarity construct

Rewarding obedience with a compliment/rewarding disobedience with rejection: that’s a very nice thing to do/that’s not a nice thing to do.

What you see is what you become, being nice is something, which will be adopted and adapted as the accepted standard/way of surviving in a group within the educational system and later when you mature within society. How many times do we say each single day: “that’s such a nice thing to do or that’s really good very nicely done?”
We have been taught to program words into us as way to survive and to store our experience of ourselves into a polarity structure of mind. That’s how we address this world. The ‘game’ of winning and loosing is already introduced as well, and no one wants to stand on the losing side. All children at some point want to say and know the right answer and expect to be rewarded by the same construct/rules that what has been showed to them.

Every one for themselves can actually see how “being nice” as a reward to an individual action has screwed you with your perception of yourself especially regards interacting with others we’ve all been programmed to have multidimensional/interpretations connected to words e.g. such a simple word as nice. It starts with parents and then when we grow of age we enter the educational system and here through a new authority figure the teacher and your fellow classmates and your adopted survival techniques of wanting to be part of it, to stand your ground with no other tools then copying those around you within your sphere of influence you will program yourself to become that what you see and adopt and adapt this as you in fact.

Because really it isn’t that hard to observe this for yourself that we’re programmed to have multi dimensional interpretations connected to one word. And it isn’t that hard to see for your self when being with children that children do not understand this at all. Kids for example do not understand irony, sarcasm its something for grown ups those who already are complied (= act in accordance with a wish or command) within this specific set of rules. When a word has no physical substance to it young children do not understand what you are talking about. It’s programmed unto them by repetition through parents the teachers within the educational system and the method we use to teach them how to read as it has been taught to us and the ones that have came before us.

We force our ways unto our children, prepared already by the parents, to continue even further the minute they enter the educational system where acts of morality and polarity ‘lighthouse’ pointers of the system presented as the example as a means to stand their ground. We reward this behavior with approval because that’s all we know of, even before they are able to read they are prepared to adept to multidimensional interpretations of words/pictures/symbols in order for them to establish and adapt and adopt to morality and polarity constructs – meaning the child is developing ‘well’ within and as a system.

The current educational system is an enslavement system, for only one sole purpose to deliver proper ingrained and useful systems for the bigger system to serve.