2011 Meditation silence your Ability to change for Real

When I was ‘into’ yoga and meditation I always heard the phrase: “Let go!” I got to a point where I concluded that I didn’t understood what I had to let go off and furthermore how to let go. Sitting in the meditation classroom I was looking around; everyone sitting still -including me -being in a deep hypnotic state because really what else can it be then a conditioned state of being where you silence the mind for a moment, – balance yourself in a place in the middle – before you go ‘back’ to the old ways and become the same person as you were before. That’s how I experienced myself after meditation, never being able to hold onto this perceived silence of mind.

I was kind of leaning towards a point of addiction to sit ‘still’, trying to get into a state of trance/hypnosis or perceived silence. To have a sense of ‘I’ am doing ‘Good’; ‘I’ am Caring ‘I’am ‘Love’; ‘I’am Light; ‘I’am ‘Bliss’; ‘I’am ‘United’ ‘I’am ‘Silence’; ‘I’am ‘Infinite’; ‘I’am ‘Spirit’ and more of such ‘enlightened’ symbols that meditation carries. I actually never knew WTF I was busy with yet it gave me a sense of ‘doing something good in unity’ and a sense of  ‘serenity’.

“Yoga stills the fluctuation of the mind” Pantanjali Yoga sutra’s 1.2

The rise and fall of flow of thoughts, feelings and emotions and the quest of silencing this ‘flow’ can’t be walked if one doesn’t yet understand, nor investigate the ‘fluctuation’ as thoughts, feelings and emotions in its totality. The raw truth of our physical actions as the rise and fall of flow as thoughts, feelings and emotion is what we have become and live. The inherent urge to silence the mind this automated stream of thoughts, feelings and emotions shows us that we aren’t the ones in Control. It shows us by wanting ‘silence’ and ‘peace of mind’ that we perceive something disturbing and wrong within the constant stream of the mind as experience. Meditation then becomes trying to silence the mind thus to control the constant stream without knowing what you are dealing with.


Yoga is mediation in action

Within the above perspective given on “Yoga stills the fluctuation of the mind” you can revisit the phrase: “Yoga is mediation in action” and see for yourself when forcing yourself into silence as a perceived physical action will eventually lead to friction and frustration and the suppressed parts of self will eventually express itself. It’s saying to a child: -“Sit still or Stop playing.” Impossible! It’s inherent within its nature to express it self. That’s a law within this reality! One should ask oneself what do we want to silence and why and how did we end up by wanting to silence this automated stream of thoughts,our inherent Human Nature is that we are controlled by the automated fluctuations of the mind.


My next step was looking at the term Ahimsa:

Ahimsa (Sanskrit: Devanagari; अहिंसा; IAST ahisā, Pāli: avihisā) is a term meaning to do no harm (literally: the avoidance of violence – himsa). It is an important tenet of the Indian religions (Hinduism, Buddhism and especially Jainism). Ahimsa means kindness and non-violence towards all living things including animals; it respects living beings as a unity, the belief that all living things are connected. Indian leader Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi strongly believed in this principle.[1] Avoidance of verbal and physical violence is also a part of this principle, although ahimsa recognizes self-defense when necessary, as a sign of a strong spirit. It is closely connected with the notion that all kinds of violence entail negative karmic consequences.

This terminology was ‘speaking’ to me because really: Who doesn’t want to be seen as the one that is doing no harm and is kind and non violence towards all living things?  Seems cool and promising to become and be such a person. I mean yeah it’s seen as good characteristics and highly valuated by all.

It seems so kind and loving and caring yet when having another look at what it actually practically physically entails. You will see how the above words only encompasses a state of being that contains thoughts/feelings and nothing of real substance that will give you any practical tools so you can utilize it to establish: Doing no Harm. Claiming such state of being: “Doing no Harm” with no practical tools given other then: -“Be love”; “Be light”; “Be Bliss”, “Be good”, “Be unity”; Be kindness; “Be non violent”. The total absence of any substantial practical tool that can be utilized by All to manifest Doing No Harm doesn’t makes sense. A hollow set of words without any substance/physicality to it.  ‘Ahimsa’ can only be real, when manifesting doing No Harm into being for All. Equal Money for All is such an Real act of doing no Harm. Become and live the words that have been scripted: “Do unto other what you would have them do unto you.” Simplicity – Be harm less.

It is easy and tempting to ‘fall’ for definitions such a promises and hope wrapped up in nice words within religion, new age and spirituality. We are All so lost that most of us look for solace in religion/spirituality or anything that can guide you to make sense out of our world/reality we’re living in.

We should ask ourselves whether our actions in the quest of “silencing the mind” are beneficial for All or only benefit ourselves, only bettering ourselves. We must include the physical reality of our world, and what the words we are living as definitions brings about practically, substantially as the manifested reality we are living in.

Being Silent is a physical action, walked into Being through real labor the tools that are pillars of support within walking being harmless are: -Self Forgiveness, Self Honesty, Self Corrective application, writing yourself to freedom and studying the principle of Oneness and Equality which is studying our world/this reality and thus how you as All came about.

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2010 Change

Something has changed

when being with the children, I ‘see’ the play out especially when Z gets home from a play date when she is still resonating all the imprints she has been exposed to she isn’t yet here so to speak .

Then what happens is that I get tired, physically tired, very tired.Its like being drawn into ‘something’. Where I use to respond  as in an act of automated reactive behaviour I now get physically tired. I sometimes slip into reacting-automated, yet I am able to stop and immediately Direct me I stabilise myself I let it go. I ‘see’  it now like a structure where ‘I’ play a part which is resonating without any real  substance to it.

Which is a word that is with me lately: Substance


Having no Substance

I have no actual words to describe it yet – but its very much within my awareness how little I actually really experience/ live as and in the physical as me/us/all here. Everything is within the structure without Real Substance, all the ingredients are here we are using it all, I mean we eat , we eat substance yet we dont have a clue what the real physical expression of food actually is and what surprises me the most that its here, and always has been here as me – lol

Same with sex, we do our thingy yet we do it within the structure utilising and actually abusing the body being blind for TOUCH and what touch is actually all about. TOUCH became sex and that is a empty fake experience it doesn’t have any substance – lol

It actually ‘came’ to me when doing the ‘exercises’ given by the resonances where I was working with food. Holding it as me where ‘it’ stepped forth so effortlessly and it was/is enjoyable to ‘see’ and enjoy substance, our physical reality as such

I always get in a void when the resonances ask me to expand on definitions or words of the description I have given. Yet I see that within this lies the opportunity to slow down, which isn’t that scary anymore. lol  And it gives me the opportunity to see and ‘find’ the words that comes with it, to describe what I see which is the next step to walk.

Today I actually ‘saw’ within someone the expression of slowing down and then I stand one and equal as it and become it as me which I can expand on explore as well. Its the same with other expression that I experience around me which I admire or adore or simple enjoy! I Stand one and equal as it and within this bypass the mind in one single moment! Which is very cool – to become aware of me here as physical expression.

So cool

Expansion and exploration of this point will establish as I walk

It has to do with the decision I currently walking into being and re- discover myself its like many ‘bodies’ ‘layers’ ‘veils’ has disappeared and I feel lighter, and everything is brighter yes, I experience myself less heavy. More up to ‘things’. So cool

Only in retrospective I can see how I neglected ‘myself’ and how deeply I have been in the/a hypnotized state by believing that I am of the structure with no substance to it – fake life.

I found myself back, something I though was lost along the way and actually wasn’t even aware that it was this very experience of myself that I lost. Really we are such a stupid lost  beings.Its not even disheartening anymore – its just plain stupidity and the more peopel wake up the faster we can move.

The point I couldn’t give up/see wasn’t able to grasp easily evolved around money that one point I was holding on to – no judgement. I see it all around me, how all are hypnotised and thus defined by money =survival.

The decision established self trust in trusting myself to always walk in the best interest of all and realising that my way applied is only serving the delusion of self, so I let it go no matter what. Its not serving all then it must go and be corrected. and that pushing oneslef to the limit is quite rewarding and not scary but enjoyable because it gives a freaking lot of satisfaction – I mean equality is FUN
I see, I correct,I walk aligned what is best for all and be an absolute perfectionist while doing so. It must be 100% flawless – 1+1=2