2012- Finding Purpose

purpose:

the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists”

My entire life I’ve been looking for a purpose I actually got in severe problems because of this seeking of the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists”

Simple because I couldn’t find it in any way and it brought me to a mental break down read severe depression. Somewhere down the line I had picked up that I simply must have a purpose otherwise my live would be totally meaningless within this world/reality or existence even. Yet wherever I looked I couldn’t found a purpose of living. So it’s actually the question of wanting to know why one exists, which is probably a question in many of us. Which is already also locks one within the equation of the question “why” instead of “how” one is living and see if within the “how” one is living is possible a way out of the “why”.

I completely overlooked “how” I live and “how” we exist! Not even considering that there could be answers within, meaning looking at myself from a different perspective/ platform than I’m used to or taught to. I must say that actually at that stage there wasn’t any other way to reflect upon my reality than I did b/c I simply was lacking a platform based on common sense within to reflect upon!

Looking for a purpose in this world/life existence is simply another form of believing in (a) god that will miraculously give you purpose and that’s what I was exercising all the way through, yet I wasn’t even aware of it. The wrapper of this search was called inner soul-searching which is nothing else than how to obey a god and furthermore to ask god to give you a purpose.

Asking someone else for a purpose in your life is like sitting in the kitchen looking at a huge pile of dishes and waiting for someone to enter the door to tell you how to clean it . lol

It’s just plain stupid.

This path of believing that one will find a purpose somewhere will and can only lead to absolute isolation. To illustrate it with a personal experience I mean at a certain point I was only being occupied with this one question what’s my fucking purpose? So I went to see a spiritual healer and the moment I walked out the door again I was holding a little bottle of water, which was injected with a cosmic organic voice from the universe that vibrated with mine. For full effect I had to wear day and night unto my skin. So I did, I stacked this tiny little bottle into my bra and can remember feeling in a total recognised onto my way of finding my true purpose within this world. Sharing this story is in no way to ridicule anyone! ~It only illustrates how far out I was.

And how far we disconnected ourselves from seeing the dishes that needs to be cleaned, getting it done. We have disconnected ourselves from seeing what we have created in this world and what exist within ourselves by consistently denying reality as it is. For me to be able to find a purpose in the first place can only exist while others are not even placed in such luxurious positions, a simple fact I overlooked within my quest of self-interest matters is: That for me to have others cannot have! ! !

How far out I’d been, seeking for self-interest goals, how did I separated myself to isolate myself from all others not even considering all others because I couldn’t even Consider or Grasp that I am part of All.

Looking for a purpose is overlooking the state of this world and that this world must be sorted out into a world that’s benefiting all! Is this now a new purpose of living? I would say yes because best for all is always here. It will stand into infinity, solid as a rock its the only valid purpose of living b/c it includes all life! So that’s the purpose I have given to myself and that’s what I will show my children as well!

A purpose is something given to you, a form of control that reveals itself in the way the world works. This then allows one to realize if you dare that if you are not the one that gave you the purpose, you are mind controlled. The only valid purpose that will be universally sustainable for eternity is that which is best for all life in all ways. make sure you are not the result of forces –rather be the force of life that give equality as one to all. The finding of a purpose is self deception. Purpose as what is best for all is always here. Only self interest let one seek your self interest and happiness in isolation. Those that do not in every breath live and dedicate themselves to what is best for all life is in fact lost in self interest and external happiness remote control.


- Bernard Poolman

 

 

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2011 Eckhart Tolle – The End of Suffering?

This is a response to this interview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Deq_1lg9Dlo

Probably everyone wants to end suffering in this world. I mean there are not many people who will say: “Nope lets continue suffering in this world” In essence we all think that we experienced and had our share of ‘suffering’ as well in our lives. So being confronted with this question the majority will response with: “Yes! It’s preferable to end suffering in this world!” Its a political correct answer to give. So what about walking the talk into being?

So lets start with looking at the word suffering which is referred to as a mental or physical state. Mental suffering is what we use the word for in most of the cases we utilise it to address emotional, psychological, and spiritual suffering. Physical suffering we do not or almost never refer to only when someone is physically disabled, handicapped not taking into account the number one cause of physical suffering: Famine.

Physical suffering caused by Starvation, that’s the physical that Suffers. Isn’t this actually a burden on everyone’s shoulders, that we aren’t doing all within our power to end it? Eckhart Tolle claims to have the solutions to end mental suffering by “no longer mentally argue with what is”.

These words bag for the following:
1.3 billion – a majority of humanity – live on less than $1 per day (UNICEF)- This causes undernourishment, and male nutritious which eventually lead to starvation and death, if you don’t have food to eat you as the physical will suffer, try to live without food and see how you are in say about one year, its kind of predictable you will die, a real raw fact which is what is here right in front of us to see and face thats what is for each one to face. “To no longer argue with what is” IS the BEGINNING of Suffering, because men sees yet does not act upon it.

He refers in his video to Jesus words “Finding the pearl of great price, finding the kingdom of heaven that is within you here”

Practisvist, Destonians walk Jesus words into being we state: Lets share the Pearl of great Price with All. The pearl of great Price is Money! Giving all what you want for yourself. Everyone wants to feel comfortable, secure and safe which All can have by giving all what all wants, which is Money. The Price each one has to ‘pay’ for it, is Giving. Then the Pearl of great Price will equalize All for Once and for All! We will ban, Ban the King which is Money, the Kingdom of heaven on Earth will be established without King and D(o)om.

End suffering? Bringing Heaven on Earth!
Give All what one wants for themself, End Suffering, – Equal Money for All.
http://equalmoney.org/

2011 Lethargy

Lethargy, the Latin meaning is ‘forgetful’ which is illustrating the construct which I participated within, allowing a moment of ‘forgetfulness’ that led to many moments which than led to a ‘stand still’ which isn’t included within I agreed on bringing into being. It seems that when I need to wait and thus be patience for points to fall through I tend to lean back a bit too much as in: “nothing can be done and I must wait for its unfolding”

It’s a bit like abandon ones activities/actions to replace it with a passive action, finding oneself in a waiting room. ‘Waiting’ for the stream, the flood of time, the current of the things to come, which are not here yet, standing in between two points.

Lacking energy as a reaction, a polarity play out of first having too much of it. Being all wind up by all the changes that are already ‘behind’ and now projecting the changes ‘ahead’ of me. The state of /feeling nothing seems to move yet. Allowing myself to go into stress and anxiety b/c of it and then the play out of passiveness. ‘Waiting too long for ones turn’ which than bends into allowing time to fuck with me.

I know that walking points through from beginning till the end is a physical action, it will only be manifested through substantial actions, until its done. I push self, until I live this realisation as me until the resistance is walked through.

The only point that is standing is me being able to direct myself within what I can do within the given moment. For now things are stable meaning there is clarity within the given situation. I can only give myself stability, and live the realization that I give to myself what I want to be in all given moments. So I push until movement as expression is here again.

Teach yourself to Give through Self Forgiveness:http://desteni.co.za/
Give All what you want and what all wants,-Money!
Equal money for All – http://equalmoney.org/

2011 Back Chat as Mind POSSEssion

So some side-notes about my commitment to post my writings onto my blog

Before I pushed the enter button thoughts are flashing through my mind – the girls refer to thoughts as movies within our heads- we have become possessed by the movie in our heads.

Thoughts as back-chat:

– “Its pointless”

– “I’m being dramatically within my writings”

– “I’m pedant within my writings”

So actually activities/characteristic I categorized as ‘bad’ and that’s why I don’t want to be seen as such. It holds judgment and fear

– “Its pointless”

Inherent belief that one can’t ‘fight’ the Giant, all Ants together makes the Giant.

– “I’m being dramatically within my writings”

Ok so here I see judgment towards emotions, and judgments as fear towards energy.

– “I’m pedant within my writings”

subtle self manipulation where I’m then tempted to give into b/c its seemingly ok to not want to act in a certain way, there doesn’t exist such a ‘certain’ way in fact, its only one way the way thats best for all.

Explaining yourself why you shouldn’t do something through reasoning is always irrational and uses logic to make your point valid and is actually a mind possession, so you walk your day from one mind possession to the next one. Really unnecessary.

We reason our way into infinity, we have become the Posse of the Possessed ones with no other reason than to keep the cause of the reason=possession alive. Time to get back to reality!

Get to know your mind demons:

http://demonology.co.za

2010 Structural living of the word Justice II

So Ok

Another dimension opened up- while looking at the point justice and how I live this point as me.

When looking back – Yesterday at Z’s party a kid peed its pants. So I was comforting him saying that we all have sometimes an accident with peeing and so on. He was quite satisfied with the words, until another girl started to make comments that he peed his pants. I can see now in retrospective that I was entering the point of ‘Justice’ where I make sure that everyone in my world in my reality is treated ‘Fair’ in relation to ‘Unfair’. So a polarity construct where I ‘m not aware of and also haven’t find  ‘fault’ within its participation. Its automated as me I do not direct it, this point is directing me as a puppet on a string.

So not finding anything ‘wrong’ with me participating within it.It wasn’t even a question within my reality at least not from the perspective of its starting point nor the necessity of its alignment, the resonances has been pointing this system design out to me. ‘Justice’ from the perspective of ‘Fairness’ to remain ‘Sane’ and in ‘Control’. Ok! I can very well relate to this and also see and observed the play out of this system manifestation in action. I was aware of this construct existent within me yet I never questioned the origin point of it nor its re-alignment. I actually always got stuck in the question why I experienced this and not how I ended up in this version, and where, when etc..Its all about being able to ask the right questions.  Ok so,..

I also perceived being ‘Fair’ as a  high valued personality asset/highly appreciated personalty feature- uhum yeah.

Hmm questionable actually b/c when I look at it now, its starting point stems from consciousness of structure. so the accumulating effect of it serves the structure of consciousness.

Dictionary

Justice

justice |ˈjəstis|

noun

1 just behavior or treatment : a concern for justice, peace, and genuine respect for people.

• the quality of being fair and reasonable : the justice of his case.

• the administration of the law or authority in maintaining this : a tragic miscarriage of justice.

• ( Justice) the personification of justice, usually a blindfolded woman holding scales and a sword.

2 a judge or magistrate, in particular a judge of the supreme court of a country or state.

PHRASES

bring someone to justice arrest someone for a crime and ensure that they are tried in court.

do oneself justice perform as well as one is able to.

do someone/something justice (or do justice to someone/something) do, treat, or represent with due fairness or appreciation : the brief menu does not do justice to the food.

in justice to out of fairness to : I say this in justice to both of you.

rough justice see rough .

DERIVATIVES

justiceship |-ˌ sh ip| noun ( in sense 2).

ORIGIN late Old English iustise [administration of the law,] via Old French from Latin justitia, from justus (see just ).

Ok, I see this standing out:

From Latin ‘iustise’ administration of the law – ok justice is living by law by the written word – I also see how I exchanged equality the principle for the laws of consciousness by integrating into my reality/this world.

The symbol of justice is also a cool allegory a blindfolded woman holding scales, being blind for the polarity construct one is so mistakable holding as ‘justice’ and ‘fairness’. B/c the only thing that is ‘just’- which means ‘law’ or ‘right’- is what is within the equality equation.

So fascinating enough I always lived the words ‘Justice’& ‘Fairness’ measured through the laws within the structure of consciousness. And within this I made sure that everything and everyone was always treated ‘Fair’ and thus within the system manifestation of it. ‘Justifiable’ through reason from the starting point that every thing/point within my world had to be ‘fair’. So situations/ people within my world were always measured by these standards and I started doing this already from a very early age. Probably to gain and give me a fake pillar of support within the structure to hold on to as the last point that could give me  some sanity/fairness within my world. Yeah, other wise I would have lost my sanity or to be more specific I was afraid of loosing my sanity within my world by loosing control of my world and its structure- lol

Sanity originates from Latin – so that means health as well. So this construct which I lived ‘Sanity’ through was preventing me from loosing control thus from going insane.

Sanity – insanity

Memory: I remember being a child going into absolute anger and the experience of unfairness when people didn’t what they said they would do. My sister canceled her promise/ appointment with me and I went into such anger and such agony/rage and experienced ‘Unfairness’ in my bones. The sense of being powerless to such things b/c spoken words seemingly wasn’t law. And probably I already started to design myself into this specific set of words and living through them already ‘working’ on and designing my sense of ‘Sanity’ and thus ‘Control’ to keep a sense of ‘stability’ within the structure.  So to make sure I never experienced such within myself ever again to never feel Injustice again towards me and to make sure that no one would ever treat me unfair! From now on I would measure everything within my world through the law of ‘Justice’, to give me a sense of ‘Sanity’ in a insane world.

I also see that I couldn’t place this ‘Unfairness’ within my world at all – it was to ‘big’ to handle and none  could explain this construct to me or why people break a promise so basically why people in this world are not living the words they speak.

This to ‘big to handle’ has actually prevented me from looking right through the deception as well getting more clarity b/c I designed myself as such that I would never dare to question this design/construct other wise I would ‘loose’ my ‘sanity’ and thus my fake sense of ‘control’ within the structure- so basically I would loose myself within it.

And that actually happened when I started to study the material my ground was moving underneath me, yeah! B/c I actually saw/realised that my sense of ‘Justice’ wasn’t a real one – yet a fake one a make belief one, a structured one which didn’t entailed any substance anything real to it. It has shaken me quite a bit quite simulair as when I was working  specific customized excercise by the resonances. Holding food while preparing diner and how I ‘saw’ what fake life actually is all about. I experienced the expression of the food here as me. It was actually only after the resonances cross-reference chat and them pointing out to me that I must have been surprised how that excercise went I only then started seeing it-lol. And now when I’m writing about it I actually become aware that I didn’t get to a point of clarity nor did I have been writing about it that much b/c at that time about 2 months ago, my personal scenery did  changed so much that I wasn’t at a stable point to write that much and also wasnt really paying attention, not really slowing down- lol

So walking this point and expanding on it, how everything is structured as consciousness. And at the same time exploring this point through writing more as well.

So back to the words ‘Justice’-/’Fairness’-/ ‘Sanity’

So that’s it?

Nope seriously this point I have become completely and utterly without even knowing what the fuck I am participating within. So what I have stated and observed before is that within everything I participate within/observe/see I measure on the scales of ‘Justice’ so that’s what I automated to do. Why? B/c that’s how I programmed myself so I need to de-engineer it again.

Its playing out within my relationships actually with everything and all in this world, my reality. So I am always balancing this out. Always looking for that perfect spot to make sure everything is how I want it to be within this mind manifestation construct to remain in control of my world. Ok so an other dimension opened up as well namely the point of my allocation- point within the system related to my adoption.

While seeing the correlation  I got pissed off and I had tears in my eyes of release and anger.

So what did I see? So how does this equate to each other? I mean I saw that those two points are intertwined  through the unfairness of the ‘situation’- the adoption story= the information I was holding as such. This story always instigated a sense of ‘Justice’ in people, as in “The world shouldn’t be like this”. Yet there is a certain ‘Fairness’ within our system and this ‘fairness’ is the ‘saving’ grace of humanity because see fairness exist within the hearts of men, we are inherent good. Adoption exist so that is the ‘Fairness’ of the system. Balancing out the equation of the law of consciousness. You loose some you win some but justice will always win and fair play will always prevail- such fools we are.

Bringing all of the point Here, so  ‘Justice’ within the system. We have laws the written word we can now be treated and treat each other  fair and been hold accountable for one actions when e.g. injustice has done to each other. We can turn to the written words, the written laws of this world. Now there are always certain situation that are seen as ‘unfair’ and inequitable. Children and especially abandonded children is a sensitive entry/trigger point for the hearts of men it will ignite the construct manifestation design of ‘Justice/injustice  and – fair/unfair .The  Laws of the ‘heart’ of men the so called good inherent nature of men kind will reign. One will pay off ones guilt through participating in the construct of ‘Fairness’ it will  prevail above the Equality Equation . Fairness and Justice are men made to cover up the real situation at hand, why even create and ‘live’ through these words that are Empty shelves to hide behind words. Information constructed to deliberately blindfold ourselves of the truth? To make sure we will not Empower the child that is dying and in need of care, nor Empower our neighbour for the betterment of All. No preference will prevail ‘Justice’ and ‘Fairness’ will prevail instead of empowering everyone equally! No more this will end as we are creating a new world re-aligning our  starting point in the best interest of All that will empower the social weak and fore most the children that will come to this world.

So, probably that’s how I stand/stood  as, my allocation point within the grid.  ‘Justice’/ ‘Injustice’ -/ ‘Fair’/’Unfair’ looping in and as the polarity play out of this point. Already through and as the placement of me within the system by ‘even’ thinking of the adoption by telling the story about it, always feeding the construct- the structural design of it. By living through the definitions of ‘Fairness’ and ‘Justice’ feeding it and making sure that I remained and everyone else within it.I engineered the structural point as  the physical without any understanding, awareness of it existence in any way nor its purpose.

So re-alignment is required.

Fascinating really!

More on this later

2009 SF Possession

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by frustration anger and rage.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by complete fury.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to pass my rage and frustration onto the kids.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to imprint this onto their resonance.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to resonate rage, fury and possessed anger.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become sad after participating within ‘giving my light’ away.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be sad which is an outflow of my sadness.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to hold onto sadness as a self-definition point.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel sad after I’m possessed by intense rage, fury, and anger.

Droevig

Droef – ig

Sad

Das

S

A

D

Sad is bad

I’ve been bad so I feel sad

I’ve been naughty

Morality

Sad

Dad

Death