2011 Writing Oneself to Freedom!

Writing is an amazing tool to self, through writing one gives self the opportunity to pull all ‘hidden’ information about oneself which is inside to the surface, outside.

Writing has been and is the ultimate key to self!
Why do we Destonians emphasise on writing as much as we do?
It’s already within the very act of writing, to actually sit oneself down with pen and paper/laptop already implies that one is taking oneself -even if this only for a moment -into consideration! Expressing gratefulness for self through a real physical action, writing!

By writing oneself out on a daily basis, one is giving self the opportunity to open up to the secret/private less preferable part of oneself, to become self intimate, in writing one can slow oneself down.
One can re-enter moments/events in one’s live without being ‘distracted’ by multiple facets while participating within ones reality/world, where one is most of the time automatically responding towards. Without actually realising where, when, why, what and how this response: the ability to respond to ones reality came about.

When sitting down with oneself to write, one gives self a moment to re-access automated responses within events/moments. To allow self a closer look at self, by slowing the whole moment/event down. Placing oneself as the participant in the shoes of self within the memory/moment/event/experience again and see for oneself through pulling out feelings, emotions, thoughts, how one actually has been experiencing oneself within an event/moment. And furthermore who one is, within what one actually does! All revealed through writing!

It will bring the actual, factual, real ‘raw’ lived self/participant ‘on the table’, allowing oneself a Reality Check, a Getting Real, back to Reality experience. I would say all should give oneself such a magnificent gift so join us! Write yourself to freedom. Because:

We all use words, we all know that words can “break you or make you”. So taking this knowledge into account one could state that words are the building blocks of oneself and thus of this reality, when this is so one can change self through words for the betterment of all. If one actually studies how the buildings blocks of you as words have been engineering oneself and thus this world, one can start with changing the process of de-engineering oneself for the betterment of all.

It’s actually fascinating how we’ve never taken into account; despise the knowledge, that words hold tremendous power over us, actually having us all by the balls! This information hasn’t brought us to really question words as us. We’ve all made promises that we haven’t lived and all have experienced how our beloved ones made promises and didn’t lived the spoken words into being. This is what we experiencing when being a child, parents sooner or later demonstrate through example: saying a and living b. All children know this and we’ve all have been children, so we all are aware of it yet this awareness hasn’t been part of our educational years so we didn’t had the tools to act upon it, time to act upon what we know. Educate yourself Writing and words are keys to self.

What are words actually other than building blocks utilised by the inhibitors, creators, us – of reality! Thoughts and words spoken do not immediately manifest yet words are directing situations/people towards a certain outcome.
One needs to understand how we utilise words in this world our reality, which starts of with our current truth the words each one is living. What have we actually brought into being as words as us as our current stance?

We must become living words in the best interest of all, and fascinating enough this will be done through the very thing that actually veiled us all, words! All are in need of re-education and this start of with understanding what words are! A sequence of words is a sentence and a sentence in action is living words. At Desteni we actually want to establish a world/word that’s best for all – so all words must be aligned with what’s best for al and we will Word, the Living Word into being.

By writing oneself to freedom one pulls the words – which have been creating ones reality; this world – outside oneself. From here one can have an unclouded look if these words which now have become visible through placing a mirror in front of oneself through writing – is actually within the best interest of all! Writing on a consistent basis gifts oneself with seeing ones stance! A camera can record pictures about all and everything around itself yet can never record itself. By writing oneself out, one can see what one has been recording over the years, layer for layer. Writing gives one the actual gift to re-enter the past which is lived as the recordings as words, thoughts, emotions, memories, – and bring it here through writing.

Learn more about words and one’s past as recordings that can be faced and seen through writing. Desteni ‘I’ process, writing as self-expression aligned with what’s best for All!

2011 Introducing myself- my story Finding Desteni, the journey to Self


When I stumbled upon my first video at Desteni back in dec. 2007 I couldn’t have imagine that it would actually be the beginning of the end of ‘me’.

I walked the world matrix quite extensively meaning I did my education, got a professional career, got into relationship, got a child, quit my job to be a stay at home mom. The journey, which led me to this life and this version of me, is the actual process I am walking, to study and investigate my accepted and allowed reality within the Desteni ‘I’ process.

I’ve been raised as a Christian yet my parents were not strict in practising their religion. By the time I was ten or so I really saw that Nope the bible and its interpretation cannot in fact be so. From there the journey of finding ‘The Truth” of me began. The LOA has been an accepted part of my upbringing; my family were very much into self-help books and psychology. I sincerely believed that it was my actual plight to live the fullest potential of me and become the best of me within the context of what I accepted as “getting the best out of me” in this life. I was a seeker and collector of experiences I wanted to experience it all one of my mantra’s was: “I only live once so I must make the best out of it here and now” Little did I know then, that yes this is so yet what one will bring into creation all depends on ones starting-point-lol

Whether it was Yoga, mediation, psychic reading’s, drugs, alcohol, clubbing, travelling etc.. I wanted to experience it all and from a matrix perspective yes so to speak, I did it all. By the time I settled down to be a mom, I stumbled upon the living application of what’s best for all, – Destonians and Practivism.

Initially by reading and watching the material what was standing out for me were the words used and the clarity within the sentences, how the message was scripted. I never heard such clear structured yet living real langue before. Which was remarkable because we all use words, so to be able to use words in such a way that all seems ‘new’ creating a platform to look at this world/reality from a complete different perspective, was mind-blowing and a call for more!

The message of oneness and equality wasn’t hard to grasp – it resonated within me as the absolute truth, which wasn’t debatable.

I was actually seeking for the truth/life we all do other wise we would be content with our current truth which is our life, each individual life is each individual truth. So when one is seeking one is living the confirmation that one’s life is a lie, common sense.

I immediately started waking with, initially through writing because in writing one gives self the opportunity to pull all hidden information about oneself which is inside to the surface, outside. Writing is an amazing tool to self.

It wasn’t an ‘easy’ or ‘funny’ or a tralalala experience I must say it took me a while to stabilise within integrating the tools of Self-Forgiveness, Self-Honesty, 4 count Breathing, Self-Corrective Application into my day-to-day living. Through being consistent in writing and applying the tools on a day-to-day basis I created a platform from where I could walk. This obvious takes time, we’ve been creating ourselves meticulously into specificity and detailed as our accepted expression over a period of time, so walking backwards in space-time in order to walk into corrective application to bring about what’s best for all, will take time and consistent self-willed application.

The forums and the blogs by fellow Destonians have been of invaluable support, I haven’t encountered such a place before where people in self-Honesty are sharing themselves, which takes a lot of courage, discipline and will power, I know from my own experiences what it takes to walk with. My visits to the farm with and without the children have given me a glimpse of what it means/will be like to manifest Heaven on Earth. while being at the Desteni Farm one can experience for a moment to live one and equal to truly support and assist each other as a group. To give All what one wants for themselves, security, safety, comfort which is currently only established and given through money, equal money will end the atrocity so we’ll create a platform from where we will value life as it should have been from the very start.

Initially I wasn’t really walking this process for myself I ‘saw’ my children and the ones yet to come I just had to act on the information and knowledge presented to me.I had to at least give me- and thus my children-an equal opportunity to see for myself what I have become and who I am within what I do.By walking with, I got to a clear and substantial understanding that what I live one and equal as expression will be manifested and the living example for all and for my children, simple!

Being a parent opens up the window of Possibilities and Grace. While interacting with Children one is forced to practically walk instantly, immediately within the moment here – lol No room for introspection, just do it!

While participating with my children, falling and standing up again became a daily living practical action!

In fact the children and the factual relationship with them have been and still is a Real wake up call, a Reality check. Reality as physical substantial manifestation isn’t up to ideas, beliefs, conditions etc..it has completely different laws. Its Direct, Here, Immediately within every moment. It’s useless to be or want to be more than the physical it has been the downfall of man, so time to stand up and walk equality for all as the change we will bring about as the real parents of this world, lets get this done!

So give yourself a reality check and walk with,- if you have the couRage!

Thank you,
Jozien

Image Frida Kahlo:Wat I saw in the Water

2011 Equality as Life Style!


I start over again!
So the decision is made I’ll move out of the house and probably leave the city as well and thus its lifestyle that has been m’I’ne for such a long period of time and by this I’m saying farewell to something a ‘style’ of living that doesn’t serves me anymore.
The structural design within I’m living here in the city is part of or even more accurate is ‘me’ in the old ways. It opened up within me that I simply could let go of this so called Lifestyle I created and constructed here. I’m not this person anymore, that persona as this very construct has died. I have lived this constructed manifested life fully into completion. I actually walked the whole matrix of aDullt life into completion by:
Getting into a relationship/marriage- getting kids- buying a house, the ‘Works’.
Married with children living the ‘perfect’ city lifestyle everything in place everything I placed so carefully for us all after “I lived it all and did it all” fase and before I started walking this ‘I’ process of self-honesty.

It was kind of straining to keep all those persona’s within the structure in place and it’s a full-time job, a commitment for life and I’m done doing so. Actually already some time ago yet I’m still living within the structural design of something; which is of the past, it has become quite useless in fact.

It served its purpose yet it doesn’t hold that purpose anymore. It’s quite fascinating to see how I’ve been meticulously designing myself into and as this ‘persona’ living in the city. From ‘Sex in the City’ to married with children. It freaking takes dedication and effort to establish/ manifest it into being. Sometimes I’m still amazed in awe/respect of others manifestation of how they established their thingy into being not yet realizing in full awareness that I did (all do) the exact same thing. We bring exactly that into manifestation what we intended to do, each single meticulous detail of it.

So from here having a ‘fresh’ look at what we’re establishing within this process of walking into a world that will bring equality for all by establishing an equal money system is of the same meticulous precise detailed placement of oneself within the greater to have eventually an impact, preparing the way before us. If one look at what one is able to create by looking back at one’s life and how this ability to create can be a force of real change when the alignment is adjusted with serving all! We can actually do it and will do so!

Yet now I break up again starting all over again. This time it will be the first time from the starting point of de-engineering myself realigning myself with what is best for all. Its kind of surreal! Can one really do so? Yes one can!

Equality as Life Style all included is my new devise!

2011 Unwrapping Self-Suppression


Wrap sounds like crap – lol

Underneath anger, rage and embarrassment within me, the real experience lies dormant, which I didn’t yet allowed myself to embrace as part of me. While walking the TL of a Mind Construct a window of opportunity opens up to go to the core of the suppressed slumbering real experience of oneself that’s so tightly wrapped up as more ‘acceptable’/’suitable’ expressions such as anger and irritation.

While walking Time Lines, which is part of Mind Construct within the SRA course, one is slowing oneself down to walk through memories as the actual participant and so opening oneself up. While doing so I see an energetic ‘wall’ which is the resistance, I walk through it to be able to go to the core of the real experience of self that opens up the suppressed experience such as: Feeling less than, Feeling inferior, Feeling unequal.

Experiences such as being inferior/unequal/less than is not a good thing so I deem it as ‘bad’, and must be immediately suppressed

I start opening up more getting and becoming more comfortable with what is here as experience as me while taking this ‘in’. I experience a shock an electrical shock of waking up to the real experience of self; which is through walking the layout of the Mind Constructs within the SRA-Course showing its Real face. Simultaneously while walking through it, opening up I experience a physical relief.
I’m amazed actually in disbelief how something so simple could have lie dormant right in front of my eyes without being able to break through the boundaries of the control.

Self, in –to- me- I- see, becoming familiar with me, getting to know me! Self first!
So this is self-intimacy in actual application, allowing myself to see beyond anger, rage, irritation, to allow myself to surface the suppressed experience. To allow myself to see that I experience feelings such as: being hurt, inferior, embarrassment, feel less and so on it exist within me and its ok to see this part of me which doesn’t imply that its acceptable– lol
It’s here for realignment, a window of opportunity so I can stop the automated suppression of categorised bad experiences of myself.
When did this automated self-suppression become an habitual coping mechanism in the first place?

Ok, Cool!
It’s not that bad – lol

2011 SF Self Suppression

  • Sf on suppressing the real experience within: I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress the real, raw experience within in relation to m’s arrival back ‘home’
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear m’s return back ‘home’
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to run away from this fear /this person, from the real raw experience within
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to run away from what I experience within
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deny the real experience within
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress the real experience within
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to assume that I must strong and keep up face regardless of the real experience within
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I always must stand within every experience within
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I always have to be strong and up to the task
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deny emotions of being hurt within me
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress emotions of being hurt within
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deny and suppress my feelings
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress what I actually feel within
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress my emotions as they arise
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress my tears
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress my fear
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress how I experience myself in fights, arguments, backchat, cheatings, back stabbing
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress the experience of myself in order to be able to survive within the system
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must be strong
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define being strong as suppressing the real emotions of being hurt within.
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define emotions as bad
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define feelings as bad
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to categorise emotions and feelings as bad as a no- go area and therefore suppress them within myself.

2011 How I assist myself when standing before a window of opportunity. Time looping or Correction – Process Support Writings

In my previous blog entry I have been writing about some layers as resistance, those are returning experiences of myself. It can actually be all kind of experiences such as fear of people, fear of speaking up etc.Points  which I simply can push myself through because I already prepared the way before me through writing opening up the construct the layout, who I am within it. So here I will share some pointers on how I practically walk such alignments.

Time looping:

Either one goes into an unnecessary experience through self compromise, giving into a ‘weakness’/personality trait /pattern that one is actually more than ready to take on and walk into correction, yet one still holds on to the old. Not yet pushing Self absolute into being, still doubts and mind/back – chat going on. Then one will go into a time loop, walk into an experience and then write ones SF again yet now not about the actual point but about not pushing oneself through the resistance. The longer one post-phone the actualization of ones re-alignment the more difficult it becomes. One will get to a point where one just don’t trust oneself anymore, same as with falling while quitting an addiction one have failed oneself just to many times. And from here each attempt to stop thus change oneself becomes more difficult. I have found within me that it can take a very long time before one readied oneself again to take the point on again.

Self-Correction:

Or one just walks through it in every given moment when the resistance as tiredness; sleepiness, procrastination, fear etc. presents itself. Stop, breath push and what assist me practically within such moments is to ask myself whether it’s worth it to make an experience out of the perceived wall of resistance. I am the one who decides whether I hold onto what I prefer or walk into and as Principle. So in essence showing myself that I am the one that choose to experience myself as tiredness; sleepiness; fear and so on and no one else. I decide how I experience myself, it’s either Yes or No, simple!

When or while walking through the resistance and more points are opening up that I didn’t yet realized or seen within me I flag-point it and go back to the drawing board again.

Prepare the way before yourself so you will be equipped the next time you face the same point again. Every window holds the key to change and so I expand on walking into understanding, realigning myself; which is a fascinating journey, as we all know by now!


2011 Intimacy – I n t I m a c y – In- to–me–I-See

In- to- me- I- fear is more of a accurate description how I lived this definition of intimacy. Being intimate was always connected to someone else, something or someone out there, holding a promise of events to come, action to be taken. Hope of something always including someone else, always overlooking me, I as Here.

In-to-me-I-see

In- to- me- I- fear

Intimacy

How am I holding /living/expressing this word as me? So what I have found within me that I never actually allowed myself to live in-to-me-I-see as an actualised expression of me here. I didn’t yet allowed myself to act upon what I was seeing within me, acting upon the actual living real reality of me.

To see and understand myself without judgment or suppression of what I see, to look unconditionally at the rawness of real experience within, that what’s suppressed, the ‘I’ that is lived into being, that part that ‘I’ deem as bad, scary, deny that what is categorised as ‘Restricted’ area, that what is kept hidden and what is experienced as not preferable to surface.

I see that suppression is an automated response off walking in my reality/world – currently walking this into awareness and understanding so I can let go of the old.

What opened up and which I start to understand is the unresolved part of ‘me’ within relationships. I’m walking the unresolved parts of me within the rawness and realness of the suppressed REAL experience within.  I’ll start with me in relation to relationship.(This is also currently what we are walking in the ‘I’ Process within the SRA course section Mind Construct) I allow myself to spend time with me so to speak, getting to know me, myself and how I exist within the suppressed parts of me which I’ve categorized as ‘bad’.

I overlooked the initial step -of Self -Intimacy in relation to relationships completely.

Its about getting to know self first, getting familiar with ‘me’ first, what did I actually accept and allow as me within me and how does this play out, how do I act this out? Instead of running off again, instead of running to someone to live the word Intimacy as In-To-ME- I- FEAR when not directed recreating the past over and over again. Eventually Expressing itself through asking another: “Be intimate with me!” Demanding from another what I’m  not able to give to myself because I’ve never allowed myself  to Live Self Intimacy as an actualised expression of self, as a living physical giving action.

To build a real REALationship with Self first is what it takes! To get to a clear understanding of myself without holding any point back. To walk through every fear or resistance that I’m holding onto in order to prevent myself to dig deeper into me, getting to know me  the core of me, stand naked, all self judgements and all cards on the table, to enable self to go to the darkness within.

Taken from my Daily writings 02/02/11

Learn more on Mind Construct: http://www.desteniiprocess.com/