2011 Unwrapping Self-Suppression


Wrap sounds like crap – lol

Underneath anger, rage and embarrassment within me, the real experience lies dormant, which I didn’t yet allowed myself to embrace as part of me. While walking the TL of a Mind Construct a window of opportunity opens up to go to the core of the suppressed slumbering real experience of oneself that’s so tightly wrapped up as more ‘acceptable’/’suitable’ expressions such as anger and irritation.

While walking Time Lines, which is part of Mind Construct within the SRA course, one is slowing oneself down to walk through memories as the actual participant and so opening oneself up. While doing so I see an energetic ‘wall’ which is the resistance, I walk through it to be able to go to the core of the real experience of self that opens up the suppressed experience such as: Feeling less than, Feeling inferior, Feeling unequal.

Experiences such as being inferior/unequal/less than is not a good thing so I deem it as ‘bad’, and must be immediately suppressed

I start opening up more getting and becoming more comfortable with what is here as experience as me while taking this ‘in’. I experience a shock an electrical shock of waking up to the real experience of self; which is through walking the layout of the Mind Constructs within the SRA-Course showing its Real face. Simultaneously while walking through it, opening up I experience a physical relief.
I’m amazed actually in disbelief how something so simple could have lie dormant right in front of my eyes without being able to break through the boundaries of the control.

Self, in –to- me- I- see, becoming familiar with me, getting to know me! Self first!
So this is self-intimacy in actual application, allowing myself to see beyond anger, rage, irritation, to allow myself to surface the suppressed experience. To allow myself to see that I experience feelings such as: being hurt, inferior, embarrassment, feel less and so on it exist within me and its ok to see this part of me which doesn’t imply that its acceptable– lol
It’s here for realignment, a window of opportunity so I can stop the automated suppression of categorised bad experiences of myself.
When did this automated self-suppression become an habitual coping mechanism in the first place?

Ok, Cool!
It’s not that bad – lol

2011 SF Self Suppression

  • Sf on suppressing the real experience within: I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress the real, raw experience within in relation to m’s arrival back ‘home’
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear m’s return back ‘home’
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to run away from this fear /this person, from the real raw experience within
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to run away from what I experience within
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deny the real experience within
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress the real experience within
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to assume that I must strong and keep up face regardless of the real experience within
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I always must stand within every experience within
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I always have to be strong and up to the task
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deny emotions of being hurt within me
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress emotions of being hurt within
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deny and suppress my feelings
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress what I actually feel within
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress my emotions as they arise
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress my tears
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress my fear
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress how I experience myself in fights, arguments, backchat, cheatings, back stabbing
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress the experience of myself in order to be able to survive within the system
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must be strong
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define being strong as suppressing the real emotions of being hurt within.
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define emotions as bad
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define feelings as bad
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to categorise emotions and feelings as bad as a no- go area and therefore suppress them within myself.

2011 Mercy and Compassion is an act of Giving – Give your Vote to World Equality!

I always believed that somehow I could bypass being responsible for world events such as war, poverty, abuse, famine etc. by simple giving my attention to something else. During my educational years – studying fine arts and exploring the picture presentation of this world -I didn’t got to a clear comprehensive assertive understanding of this world/reality. Despise all the years I’ve spend within the educational system it didn’t allow me to develop and explore understanding of being in this world and through this express responsibility for all as a natural expression that’s intrinsic with being in this world/reality.

It has made me a ‘useful’ member yes, but not amember that takes responsibility for all Equally, – it’s also not what our educational system is aiming for. Educating is being used for god the system to continue and to secure its existence.

Fleeing and escaping into visual ‘beauty’ and ‘esthetics’ deliberately avoiding any political involvement or engagement made me actually  belief  that I was safe yet escaping what is Real doesn’t make the ‘boogie man’ go away. That only exist within fairy tales.

It really doesn’t make sense to perceive that what isn’t ‘in your face’ isn’t part of your responsibility, by not acknowledging our ability to response to our world we don’t even bother to ask ourselves if we hold the power within to establish change for the betterment of all. Running away from the Real Raw Physical reality has never been the solution and it will never be the solution. That’s a law within this reality, you cant jus shovel the Manifested Physical Reality underneath the carpet without unnecessary manifested consequences.

We need to be able to question ourselves from where; what; how; when and from whom we’re actually walking/running away from. This challenge will lead to ourselves again. Answering these questions and living them into alignment with what is best for all will be the foundation for the Principle of Education on how we will teach our children and the children yet to come. For them to be able to live and understand this reality so no harm will ever be done upon Life again.

If you would ask any parent in this world, and I am a parent myself – if its preferable to teach your child to walk away from the world ‘outside’ – because is too ‘hard to bare’, not ‘nice, not how you ‘prefer’ it to be, not what you ‘like’ it to be. Every parent would say NO this is NOT what you want to teach/show your child yet we’re all Demonstrating exactly this construct. Running away from the manifested consequences ‘Out there’! We walk away from what we perceive as ‘Out There’ while in essence what we see as ‘impossible’ to deal with is exactly what we live as ourselves, running away from ourselves until infinity, not facing what we have manifested within our World/ Reality.

How much more suffering do we need to create into manifestation before we had enough? Do we really need to go as far until every single child is killed, raped, molested, mind controlled, when all colored people, women, the disabled, the poor and the list goes on and on until eventually every minority= threat in name of the system to survive will be destroyed. There is no Mercy within the current system. We the people must bring back Compassion to and as the people to give what we want for ourselves.

There is a legal body=Democracy already in place that calls for each single one of us to utilize our individual single votes so we can walk the Power of the Majority into being, to bring about change Equally for ALL. We are the People, the world ‘Out There! We, you and me are the ones that are within the position to bring change! Use your Vote as an act of Giving!

Politics is Here – Democracy is Here You are Here – I am Here!

So what are you waiting for?

I’m one vote for world Equality! Join us! Equal Life foundation – Equal money for All – http://equalmoney.org/

In changing the money system – we change All else

2011 Mind Constructs – Walking Self Correction

Mind Constructs – Walking Self- Correction

I see that I’m still having an anxiety about going to sleep knowing and being determined to live what I agreed on living and stick to the decision. I don’t have to go into a personality play out I engage in every evening/night before sleeping. Staying up late doing all kind of things, being all wind up about really nothing. Playing out personality traits of being ‘Naughty’/‘Rebellious’ captivating Self within the play out because One can do so. Ok, I need to laugh! How ridiculous can one be in the way we allow ourselves to exist?

Ok, so

I have been living this automated point for years and I don’t know where I picked this up and whether it’s relevant for now to know the exact point of origin.

I see that I get restless when thinking about sleeping because I remind myself already around the early evening what I determined myself to do – namely go sleep at a certain time and getting up at a certain time without engaging in a Persona to ignite the energy that I create through acting out the Personality and then the outflow thereof. Acting out the Mind Construct, always getting up just a bit too late or oversleep, being hasty as the outflow of an energy addiction and from there enrol into a sequence of predictabilities within this specific Play out of a Mind Construct.

A mind Construct is thus releasing or building anxiety/tension concealed by a play out we call our ‘Daily Routine’ or ‘Our Lives’, or ‘Personalities’ or ‘Our Ways” or this is ‘Me’ or whatever we name it.

It really took me a while to distinguish all points in the totality of the play out of the mind construct and how I was acting it out. While I’m walking the re-alignment, other layers/dimensions open up to integrate into this specific mind construct of waking. I have found that working with mind construct and how it is designed one has the opportunity to walk through multiple layers/dimension of accepted constructs and start understanding a glimpse of how one engage and exist as Mind Constructs. And its is done when its done.

So what I observe within me- through the blank that has been now created by re-aligning specific Mind Constructs – I start experience a perception of a ‘missing’ feeling. I start feeling ‘incomplete’ without this specific energy and thus start projecting and compounding ‘disagreement’ unto other points/manifestations I come across within the same Mind Construct and this ignite so much friction that ‘I’ eventually ‘explode’. So stick to the breath!

S L O W   D O W N

It’s like walking out of an addiction or to be more accurate stopping an addiction and then just stick to the decision in every moment – and thus not replacing one addiction with another addiction.

Learn more about mind constructs: http://www.desteniiprocess.com

Explore the Universe: http://desteni.co.za

2011 Mind Construct and Re-education

So this morning while having my daily routine with the girls I actually already actualized the decision of stopping the addiction to start my day in a particular way and the mind construct that is related to it.

We all know by now that ‘having enough’ and a decision to change what you have enough from are two different things.

So its clearly addiction, an energy addiction that isn’t serving me nor the girls or anyone else for that matter.

Interesting enough is that when I start living a decision all around me are ‘against’ this decision it’s a law within this reality. Yet I actually predicted ‘it’ to be like this – lol

So stopping participating within energy is stopping an addiction. There are many points to take on within this process- one by one. Stopping becomes then a Self Willed action. Stopping an addiction to a substance actually assist greatly within stopping engaging in mind constructs. Its in essence the same thing.

I’ve been working with mind construct for one year now and this has been a break through regards understanding, expanding and walking my process. Revolutionary I would say and everyone should work with Mind Construct as part of a re- educational program and once an One and Equal money system is in place this will be Free accessible for ALL as part of the SRA course .

The Mind Construct I’m currently re-aligning and busy walking the timeline is the Mind construct of Waking. Working with it has revealed and exposed multiple layers, automated memories that I’ve been running from my past already for years and years it’s really beyond imagination how vast the totality of the mind control is.

Really we have no clue- we are automated meat bags running on energy

So the sooner we can get our ass in gear the better so we can start with re-education All and everything about Life, existence and how the hell we ended up in this mess, within this version of ourselves. Time to get Real. Join us

Equal Life foundation- Equal money for All from birth to death – Who do you decide to be?

Learn more about Mind Constructs: ‘I’ process http://www.desteniiprocess.com/documents/Mind_Constructs_Amended.pdf

Equal money: http://equalmoney.org

2011 re-alignment/system removal

Ok I realise that one can remove all systems manifestation within oneself yet it actually won’t be of any significance change within this world because if we are not able to do this equally for all and within the world system it will not have any substantial effect nor change anything in any way.

To live this realisation into the required practical application/alignment is to will myself to be actively involved within bringing change into this world.

It took me a while to prepare/re-educate myself as I had to walk my ‘personal’ manifested consequences and the matrixes thereof for being able to face one singular point of fear of loosing what I loved the most and all outflows thereof.

This point was related and intertwined with a network of points that came together so to speak in walking a singular choice which was holding all points within it – lol

Yet this choice was and is an outflow of the accumulating effect of walking self- forgiveness into an absolute standing, expression of Self.

I cant say that I am almost ‘there’ (being ‘there’ would now imply transcending the fear of death in its totality) yet I created a solid platform of self support to walk from – I removed the so called ‘self stability point’ with the principle of what’s best for all is best for me, in the realisation that when I am not here after all veils are lifted I know one thing I haven’t been Here as the Directive of Self nor authentic in the first place.

So to take on the challenge to see proof for yourself if you are real behind the veils of the mind will take time yet all is actually obligated to do so for oneself.

How else can one find out what is real and what’s not?

I have found nothing authentic about me as perceived ideas, beliefs and so on – Nothing stood the test of time nothing remained

What is standing and stepping forth is the physical expression of substance as me here that always has been here now to live this realisation into being as the living expression of me simultaneously with bringing a manifested new political system one that is benefitting all is what I agreed on doing and thus will live into being.

It’s done – let’s walk!


2010 Daily Writings – Educating my Children

Disciplining myself to sit with Z each day for one hour to do homework so we do the alphabet together and simple applied maths exercises. I have not yet disciplined myself to do it structurally on a daily basis, no exceptions no delay

I am confronted with bs inside its cool to see and observe myself and how I automatically act out parental design patterns.

It doesn’t comes ‘naturally’ to me to sit with her and to repeat the same over and over again. Fascinating to observe her, she starts yawning and  withdrawing. The lay out for the structural way of storing information is already in place.

Interesting to observe myself within irritation, impatience, annoyance, and hastiness. I actually feel ‘helplessnot adequate enough to teach her so anything that locks into”Not being able to do the task not being able to prepare a child for the world system to survive” I will push! To bring about change. To see how I exist and realign it accordingly as I have committed myself to do so.

I will also re-introduce working with the Desteni’s Vocabulary Purifier again . We have been working with it and that was quit cool, she got all the alphabet letters already when she was 4. Now she’s in school learning  through the educational system and I see that she is now stores information a bit ‘differently’ now she suddenly needs to think – lol

Well…. I got sloppy with my daily discipline- so here is where I stand.

So I will re-introduce home teaching again on top of her school work and I will do so until I am satisfied with her reading/mathematical skills so that’s what I have set for myself establishing this point of consistently within doing so.

So first week wasn’t that cool I tend to give up , something I didn’t expect from myself b/c I can be quite persisting in pushing. I have observed this pattern before  me not pushing it firmly enough, I ‘settle’ too ‘early’ and that was when z got potty trained I gave up to quickly, seems a simple point yet is shows how I am cycling in patterns.

So with L – the second time, second child  I stuck to it and just before I wanted to give in it worked out just fine. Lol

So now we are all satisfied by pushing it just gently yet firmly !

So the point of pushing it just a bit more when working with the kids to just go a bit beyond their and my comfort zone is something to practically walk through. I am in unknown waters here never done this before and while doings so I come up with the most inventive plays to integrate the pushing of what needs to be taugt. Actually its quite a lot of fun to study the basics with her. I mean she’s 5years old  and so willing and eager to learn she is quite satisfied being teached and getting to know the world around her.

She doesn’t want to grow old she said several times over the last weeks. – lol

Ok that’s about the daily discipline within educating her, getting the basics established.

Interestingly enough L is going so much faster I mean I establish it with Z ‘right’ then L is moving so much more effectively.

The little ones!!

they are doing quite fine! We are doing fine, I observe myself within  being with them sure not yet as an absolute standing still points to look at walk with/through realignments to be done yet the initial frantic almost hysterical experience of self within it all has been dissolved. It consisted of many layers I would say. So yeah time to walk this specific point of parental system manifestation into awareness and full understanding and from there its  re-alignment.

The structural living of this point hasn’t been yet here fully as the whole for me to see and understand in its totality.

I see that this is emerging within me to experience points  here to bring it here as the real actual structure of it, intensifying the Pattern and the play out even re-walk it when this brings clarity on how to realign it. There are currently some point that are heading towards this intensity. So will see..

Another point I am busy with

Must script a clear layout/ foundation for what I am practically going to spend my time on. Then I will script it and walk the stance into completion.

Discipline and actual structure within the structure needs direction, especially  b/c this point naturally isn’t within my structural design. lol Naturally I tend to ‘perform’ ‘good’ ‘peek’ under different conditions, so discipline must be established as an absolute standing

Its also the point of consistency, doing and repeating the same physical action that is required to bring the point into being. I know is the only way yet I must push the actual physical action every moment every day, every breathe.

So cool, clear

Eating Habits/Preference/Blood type Diet B

I have changed my diet/eating habits, so I ‘m only drinking low fat milk in my coffee it’s the only milk intake and that already has been a cool stabilizer physically. Took wheat out as well same effect and at the same time taking the sugar point on and started buying bread at the bio shop again. Real bread!

I actually dropped some time ago the whole point of eating healthy I used to be a freak about food, I had developed quite a food obsession and went into the polarity opposite as well eating very crappy and poor quality food and totally not being interested whether is was of any good for the body. Either side doesn’t makes sense.  So now I am prepared to walk the correction and eat food that my body assist and support as a pillar of support, nothing more nothing less. So no more preference yet eating as an actual support point for the body, simple expressing gratefulness

Ok that’s it for now

Oh and on sleeping it goes up and down there are nights that I am only sleeping 4 hours – so I am ‘dead’ when waking in the morning yet I feel so much more stable during the day.