2011 Judgement as Fear

I see hastiness as experience within me a constant need to engage myself within ‘it’ and I blame participating with ‘others’ for this, it’s slight yet its there. I can see how it emerges within me. It’s a point of blame so within this I don’t take an absolute stand within taking self-responsibility for my own experience. Fear, I fear that I will not stand within my surroundings/environment.

It’s like walking my process once again now to expand it into the ‘outer world’ – I mean if I cant stand within the world matrix the stance is not yet actualised as an absolute.

It’s a process

Points to look at/take on:

Fearing Energy and how I place this within my reality as the matrix of morality that is ‘attached’ to it.

I categorise energy as bad I always did I actually do not know where it stems from I have been looking at this point for some time now and I know that the answer will step forth while walking the question even if it takes years.

I live this fear as me, I start to observe that whenever I observe energy coming up within me or others I actually already live in fear and within this I’m already automated locked into and existing within/as this limitation point.

So how to walk through it? What I have found the most effective is to actually correct self in real time and space. This observation also seems to be more articulated since some time. So I start seeing it very clearly almost crystal clear.

Another point which I also start observing is that there is not such a thing as good energy – lol sound very obvious yet when living it, its something different

So good, cool nice energy or that what makes me feel comfortable especially in relation to people is NOT EXISTING IN FACT – lol Because I see that the source of all information and thus energy traits is the same, its of the MCS system.

When I look at judgement and how I deem some particular interactions as bad and thus I deem certain stored information and how I experience this as bad. I stored this as not nice, bad, shitty experience of self also because I couldn’t place it within my world/reality.

Ok the above makes sense didn’t yet saw it from this perspective.

So this particular energy became something to avoid, and certain people who I deem as fake, yet in essence true because they ignited that physical sensation within me – probably as a child more as a one and equal standing with other seeing and observing the system manifestation within aDults and how they presented themselves. Ok that makes sense, makes a lot of sense.

So now I stored this energy through observation within the bad category and it will ‘come out’ as judgement towards certain people, yet in essence its FEAR of this energy.

So that takes me to another answer or perspective me living within the old ways and creating a extreme high in existing within the positive energy when it came to experienced perception of self, positive vibes and so on. ‘I’ was an absolute positive energy junk.

Yet I also realised and seen within me that All energy and how we are participating within it is a destroying power not only the ‘bad’ the ‘good’ equally alike.

So to fear Energy is not making any sense, its irrational.

So Fear as judgment doesn’t make any sense.

I’ve been correcting this point in multiple layers and I couldn’t have been de- engineering myself as such without extensive support and I know now that I am more than capable of walking this point into re-alignment.

Yet this layer I haven’t seen yet in clarity.

So I will direct this point into a living application and whenever especially when I want to run away when around others, deem especially certain kinds of interaction as ‘bad’ yet hidden within a judgment about people, certain kind of people.

When I get tired after interaction with others

When I get sleepy as in the perceived experience of self, surfacing as “interaction with others is too much” in relation to certain people.

I will myself to look into it immediately without delay and expose to myself where I walk away from myself, within not allowing myself an absolute standing.

I’m aware of the construct Fearing Energy I judge it.  I wasn’t yet giving this  to myself. Meaning I wasn’t yet able to say ok, its ok to see that this is part of me this extensive fear,petrifying fear as judgement.

So for practical support

I will myself to walk into a living application to stand one and equal as it comes to this specific energy I fear. I will expand on the application that I live with and as my kids. Breathe, stand, walk, breathe in – out, walk, Self Forgive, in Self honesty, breathe by breathe until it stands, yes it can be done.

I will also do this whenever I am with the package M&M, ‘take it in’ because yeah there is still a resistance point of “oh no not this again” a fight modus so I will utilise this application because I have found that irritation and annoyance about others is actually many times Fear. Fear of not being able to stand within what one is irritated and annoyed about and this eventually leads to judgement.

All right,

That’s it for now!